Tazria-Metzora

Aaron's teacher invited me to give another d'var Torah to their class. I chose to speak during the week of Tazria-Metzora (Leviticus 12-15). This is a notoriously undesirable Torah portion, but I am a big believer that nothing is wasted in the Torah, and also I like a challenge. As it turned out, the kids were very engaged, and it was fun! Here's what I shared with them.

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This week’s Torah portion, Tazria-Metzora, might be the yuckiest Torah portion. It has instructions about what to do when various disturbances happen with your body (like swellings, or rashes, or bleeding, or pus), or when something weird shows up on your clothes, or on the walls of your house. For example:

When a person has on the skin of his body a swelling, a rash, or a discoloration, and it develops into a scaly affection on the skin of his body, it shall be reported to Aharon the priest or to one of his sons, the priests. 

The priest shall examine the affection on the skin of his body: if hair in the affected patch has turned white and the affection appears to be deeper than the skin of his body, it is tzara’at; when the priest sees it, he shall pronounce him unclean. (Leviticus 13:2-3)

Ew, right? Gross. And I am not even reading you the grossest parts. You can go read those yourself.

So what we learn is that there is this disease, tzara’at, which shows up as weird scaly patches on your skin, and it is apparently very important, because a priest has to come and examine you to see if it is really tzara’at. [1] And if it is, the priest says you are tamei, which gets translated as “unclean,” though it is a bit of a mystery word. [2] If the priest says someone is tamei, they have to call out “Tamei, tamei!” wherever they go, so that people know. And then, it says – Help me translate. [Here I had the kids work with me to translate the Hebrew, especially the easier lines. This is Leviticus 13:46.]

Kal y’mei -- All the days
asher hanega bo -- the scaly patch is on him
yi-tamah tamei hu -- he shall be tamei, he is tamei
badad yoshev -- Alone sits.
michutz lamachaneh moshavo -- Outside the camp his seat.

This says that if the priest says that someone is tamei, they have to go outside the camp, far away from any of the tents, away from their family, away from their friends, by themselves in the wilderness. Badad yoshev. [3]

• What do you think that would be like??

[The kids thought it would be lonely, and sad, and embarrassing. I proposed that it might even be dangerous, out there in the wilderness alone.]

Sometimes we send someone away from other people for health reasons. When you get a bad cold you can’t come to school; you have to be “outside the camp” for a little while while you recover, to keep everyone else from getting sick. When you get better, you are welcomed back and all is well. Some people think the tzara’at situation sounds like this. You get a skin disease, and you have to go away on your own until you are healed, and then you can come back. This Torah portion also describes how the priest should inspect you to make sure everything is okay before you return, which makes the priest sound like a doctor.

[The kids had a lot of questions about tzara'at, like whether it is contagious (yes) or deadly (no) or curable (yes).]

But actually there are good reasons to think that being sent outside the camp wasn’t for medical reasons; it was for spiritual reasons. There were plenty of diseases that the Israelites suffered from at that time, and they didn’t send you out of the camp for those other diseases. The rabbis say that tzara’at happened not because you had a virus or whatever, but because you did something wrong. In particular, they say that tzara’at happened when you said mean things about people. One reason they said this is that there was a time when Miriam said something rude about Moses’s wife – in fact, she said something racist about her – and G-d punished Miriam by giving her tzara’at temporarily. [4]

So if tzara’at was not a contagious medical condition, why were people suffering from tzara’at sent alone outside the camp? I think one answer is that they were being punished, and I do not like that. But I think another answer is that the Israelites knew that saying mean things about people is, in a way, a contagious disease. For example, I know a bunch of kids at another school who have gotten into saying racist things; it started with just one or two people but unfortunately now it has spread, so that a lot of kids are doing it, and it’s a bad situation. I wonder if maybe those first few kids could have been kept from talking to the other kids for a while, it might not have spread.

These days if we see someone who is sick, we don’t think that means they are being punished. At least I hope we don’t! We know from science that this is not true, and it could be cruel to think that. Even the rabbis knew this was not how things are in our world – they say the punishment of tzara’at was a special thing that only happened in ancient times, like G-d appearing in a pillar of fire.

But what would that be like?

• What do you think it would be like if, when you said something mean about someone else, you got scaly patches on your skin? How would you feel?

[The kids were predictably distressed by this idea. They said it would be gross and embarrassing, and that it would be a very nasty punishment.]

• Would there be anything good about it? Any benefit to it?

[It was not easy for the kids to think of anything good about it, and I don't blame them. Some kids suggested that visible affliction provides a better opportunity for quarantine. Others felt that visible affliction would be an effective deterrent. These both seem legitimate to me, if a little depressing. I also shared with them my own idea, which is that sometimes I say hurtful things about another person without realizing it, and getting tzara'at would make me aware of the hurt I had caused. Kids responded to this with stories about times they had said something unintentionally hurtful, which I thought was great.]

Thank you for sharing your ideas with me!

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[1] Tzara'at has historically been translated as "leprosy," but it isn't leprosy as we know it. For example the real disease, now called Hansen's disease, is a progressive and disfiguring disease if it's untreated, whereas tzara'at supposedly went away on its own.

[2] I spent some time learning about tamei (and its opposite, tahor) and wow, what a rabbit hole, or PhD thesis if you prefer. Things that convey "uncleanness" include dead human bodies, dead bodies of nonkosher animals, women who just gave birth, men having abnormal discharge from the penis, and women normally menstruating. It takes a lot of effort to construct a concept unifying all these things, especially if you are not going to claim that normal female reproductive activity is abhorrent. I decided not to go there with ten-year-olds.

[3] This is actually the line that strikes at my heart. Badad yoshev; michutz lamachaneh moshavo. Do we not all have a primal fear of this kind of exile? The times that I have perceived myself to be forced to sit "outside the camp," when loved ones seem to refuse to connect with me, are some of the worst times I can remember. When and why do we do this to each other? And what about as a society - who do we force to sit alone, outside the protection and favor of our community? Obviously many people and in many cases for the wrong reasons. I originally thought the d'var would be all about this but I got overwhelmed.

[4] "Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had married: 'He married a Cushite woman!'" (Numbers 12:1) Cushites - approximately, Ethiopians - were distinguished by dark skin. Both Miriam and Aaron made the rude remark but only Miriam was stricken with tzara'at. Harumph.

Peg leg

Dale is healing well from his ankle surgery as far as we know, though to be fair we don't know much. He is reasonably comfortable in his sleek black cast, which the children have signed in silver sharpie. He works normal hours, drives, parents, and somehow manages to sleep in the limited positions that his cast allows. He is amused by not needing to match his socks when he's folding laundry.

At work he uses a rolling knee scooter, which is a great thing. How did it take humanity so long to come up with this? It is stable and comfortable and well suited to his workplace, with its long wide halls and frequent transitions from sitting to standing to sitting again. However, there are still major limitations. The scooter can't go on gravel or grass or even rough sidewalk, and it certainly can't go upstairs. It also doesn't put itself in the trunk of the car; Dale can do it solo, but then needs crutches to get around to the driver's seat. And neither crutches nor the scooter leave your hands free. Dale is very capable, but when he took himself to the grocery store, there was just no good option. He couldn't push a cart, so he hung a basket from the scooter handle, but he needed more than the basket could hold, and then what about when they bagged his groceries? The whole thing was very awkward, and irritating.

Enter the iWalk, which was recommended by Dale's surgeon. This is basically a peg leg, with support for the calf of the injured leg.

Strange as it looks, this thing totally works! It takes a few minutes to learn how to walk, but within half an hour it feels surprisingly natural, and within a day it pretty much feels like part of your leg. Pirate jokes are welcome, Dale makes them himself.

With the iWalk, Dale's hands are free, which is huge. And he can go up and down stairs safely, which is also huge. It's compact and light so it's easy to tote around as needed, and he's using an almost-normal walking motion, which is probably good for his recovery. Look at him go!

(Okay, this may have been a tiny bit staged. But he was actually playing badminton with Aaron, in a limited way.)

The iWalk is not as convenient as having two working legs. For example, when you stand up (or sit down) you need to strap yourself in (or unstrap yourself), which is a bit of a process. But overall it is the best mobility device Dale has used; if he had to pick just one, it would definitely be this one. More people should know about this. It's really very good.

10 days until his next appointment! If everything goes according to plan, he will get his cast off then, and begin walking on two feet. Not to mention putting on a matching pair of socks for the first time in two months. We are very hopeful.

Seedlings

At school Aaron created a picture book in Hebrew, about a seedling that was all alone until a little boy planted it in a garden with seedling friends. Then he read his book to a first grader, and helped the first grader plant kale seedlings, which will later go in the garden. To add to the sweetness, the first grade class is named Seedlings (shtilim), and the fourth grade class is Trees (ilanot).

Misunderstanding

A few days ago, Aaron reported a thorn from his school day: He had been drawing by himself, when another kid snatched his drawing away and crumpled it up. Aaron was pretty distressed and sought help from a teacher. The teacher had the other kid write an apology to Aaron, which Aaron shared with me.

Dear Aaron,
I am sorry even though you were being really mean and I crumpled up your drawing! but Please don't hurt or insult pusheen!
From: [redacted]

Aaron said he was not very satisfied with this apology. He says he was just sitting drawing a minotaur as usual and he had no idea why this person had done this to him. I probed to find out what else may have been going on, and he said another friend of his might have said something silly right around then, but it had nothing to do with him. I asked him what "pusheen" is and he said it is a meme; I looked it up, and found that Pusheen is this cat. I think the drawing in the letter is of Pusheen crying.

It seemed to me that there was a misunderstanding and that Aaron was disturbed, so I suggested that he write a letter back to the Pusheen-lover, asking what the heck is going on.

Dear [redacted],
yesterday, I think we had a misunderstanding. in your note you said I was being mean, but I think I was just drawing. [Other friend] might have said something but otherwise, I don't understand why you said I was mean. also, TIP: Don't call people mean in apologies because that might make them want another one. Could you explain why you called me mean? I hope you see how I feel.
your confused schoolmate, Aaron.

I think this is a pretty good letter. Okay, the recipient is unlikely to welcome Aaron's tip, but I think he makes a fair point. And overall, I think there is a spirit of being ready to listen to the other side, which is important in this kind of tricky interaction.

He delivered his letter the next day, but has not heard back. Oh well.

Tzedakah letters

A small portion of our kids' allowance is set aside for tzedakah (charity). They usually just let it pile up for a while, and then every so often they decide to make a donation. I guess we let it pile up for a long time because it's only a dollar a week and they had gotten up to $70 each!

I asked each of them what social and political issues they are especially concerned about lately. Aaron is particularly worried about the environment, and Jordan is concerned about constitutional protections. I picked a few excellent charities suited to their interests and let them choose who to support (based on their own exploration of each organization's website). Aaron chose EarthJustice and Jordan selected the ACLU. Both kids were very impressed with these great organizations fighting for things that they care about.

I think when a kid makes a donation they should write a letter, so to help them out, I gave them a template to fill in. They found this helpful, and generated their own letters without complaint.

Then they had to locate the mailing address of their organization, and watch me write a check, and actually address and stamp an envelope, which is a life skill that kids don't always learn these days. 

Not too long afterwards, Jordan got a fabulous response from the Washington chapter of the ACLU. The executive director wrote him a personal letter thanking him for his donation, and enclosed a bunch of great ACLU swag, including awesome stickers, ACLU magnetic poetry, and a pocket constitution! 

Smart people over there -- Jordan was so impressed, he's probably an ACLU member for life now. (I hope EarthJustice is as forward-thinking with Aaron.) 

The first thing Jordan wanted to do was write to his US Studies teacher and tell her all about it. He enclosed photos of everything.

Hi Heidi-Marie, this is Jordan. a little while ago, I had the choice of what to spend my tzedaka money on. (tzedakah is donation money, it's part of my allowance) So I decided to donate to something defending the constitution. my mom did some research and found a couple of companies she thought l might like do donate through. first we looked at the ACLU, and I didn't need to look at any more. I had made my choice. so we donated. I sent them a letter with my name, age, and and why i donated. Later they sent me a letter back! it comes with some really great stuff [photos]. I was wondering if you could find some place in your class for u​​​​​​​​s all to do this.
sincerely,
Jordan
PS: your the best at discussing politics, no one better. i swear
PPS: i'll bring these to class on monday

His teacher wrote back the next day:

Hi Jordan,
This email made my YEAR. What an awesome step of personal advocacy that resulted in such a positive response! I hope you feel very proud of your efforts. I would love to do a project like this our class. I will adjust the curriculum to make some room for it. For extra credit, would you be willing to introduce your process to the class as a demonstration? I think we could do this next week (March 13-17).
Let's discuss further together this week!
Impressed and gratified,
Heidi-Marie

Is this a fantastic experience or what? I am so delighted with the whole thing!

Ankle surgery

Dale had surgery last week to repair the damage done by his skiing accident in Leavenworth. He initially saw a sports medicine doctor at the UW Medical Center, a great guy who is part of the doctor team that treats the Seahawks. However, even this illustrious doc said Dale's injury was "above his pay grade" (that's probably quite a pay grade) and sent him to be evaluated by one of the best orthopedic surgeons in town, over at Harborview. The Harborview surgeon explained that although the only fracture is to the fibula, the real problem is the ankle: Dale tore the connective tissue that hold his ankle together, and some of that goes up his leg between his fibula and tibia, such that yanking on it broke the fibula. Ow.

We spent Monday of last week at Harborview, going from one pre-surgery appointment to another: consultation with the surgeon and his resident, new x-rays, vascular imaging to make sure there were no blood clots in his legs, and a pre-anesthesia education session. Tuesday we waited at the hospital all day for the surgery (during which poor Dale could not eat or drink!); he went in about 6pm and was done at 9pm. Apparently reassembling the 3-D puzzle that is the human ankle is a fairly tricky business - they eventually got it right using live CT imaging during the surgery, which is some trick. Dale had to spend one night at the hospital while he finished waking up from anesthesia, and I got him home Wednesday morning. He has pins holding his shin bones in place, which stabilizes both the ankle and the spot where the fibula is broken.

After a few days in bed Dale has been reasonably comfortable, or as comfortable as you can expect to be with one leg in a giant plaster splint thing. He doesn't need much in the way of pain meds.

He gets around pretty well using the wonderful rolling knee scooter. At home, he can do for himself, even emptying the dishwasher and making dinner for all of us once in a while. At a doctor visit last week, he zoomed ahead of me on the ramp out of the parking garage, and said, "Try to keep up!"

He'll be in this bulky splint for another week, then a cast for six weeks. At that time his left leg will be "a toothpick" (as a nurse described it); he will need extensive PT both to rebuild his leg and to break up the stiff tendons and ligaments in his ankle. We hear it hurts. But eventually (six months to a year), he'll be back on his bike and schlepping his drum gear and all that good stuff.

Leavenworth

We spent President's Day weekend in a cabin in the snow with friends. It was a lot of friends, and a mansion of a cabin: 13 adults and 7 kids, eight bedrooms, two living rooms, huge double kitchen, hot tub, giant yard full of perfect snow, you name it. We knew about half the people fairly well and the other half just somewhat; we all got along great, including the kids. Each family took a meal and cooked for all 20 of us. Here we all are in cooking-and-eating mode:

The kids spent long hours outside building snow forts in the yard (the weather was great).

Subgroups of people went out skiing or sledding or snowshoeing, including Jordan, who learned XC skiing at Billings last year.

The kids came in for hot cocoa, extended sessions of Dungeons & Dragons, and movies in the 16-seat home theater. Adults hung out in the capacious living room playing board games, reading by the fire, or doing crafty things. There was much knitting, and also weaving and spinning (I kid you not, one friend brought a loom, and another spun wool into yarn in the corner like in a fairy tale). I learned to knit and made great progress on my first hat. Really, there were all the makings of a great winter holiday.

Sadly there was a very unfortunate event. Dale went XC skiing with a friend, and almost immediately fell, heard a nasty popping sound, and was in blinding pain. He had clearly done something horrendous to his ankle and spent almost the whole weekend in bed, resting and icing and compressing and elevating. Nothing like the fun weekend we had hoped for. The pain got better over the days we were there, and he was able to hobble around the house sometimes. But when we got back to Seattle, x-rays showed that he has not only a severe sprain, but also a broken fibula.

Ugh. He will be evaluated tomorrow for possible surgery and is looking at a long recovery time. So distressing how things can change in the blink of an eye.