Greenlake orientation

Jordan’s upcoming middle school is in Greenlake, a fun and dense neighborhood with lots of amenities and very little parking. Unlike in elementary school, students are just released, not signed out by a parent. (!) Jordan won’t be able to go home on his own, so he and his friends are likely to go somewhere nearby to hang out while they wait for parents to show up – the library, the bookstore, the Starbucks, etc. This is one of the reasons I think he needs a phone, to tell me where he is.

Technology is good but he also needs to be able to just find his way around like a regular person. So the other day, he and I spent part of an afternoon getting oriented in the neighborhood. We started at the school and walked together to each location (school, library, bookstore, Starbucks, grocery store with frozen yogurt next door). I let him lead as much as possible, and it was very entertaining to see him actively locating himself – peering down side streets, checking street signs, noting landmarks – it made me aware that normally, he is very much the passenger in life. After we had made one round, he made another round on his own: his job was to go to each place and take a photo, then come back to me, sitting in the park. (I watched him on FMF.) He relished this and was very successful. The only hard part was crossing Greenlake Way, a busy street with a weird five-way intersection. We practiced that a few times afterwards. He was rather chagrined to have to practice crossing the street, but he put up with it, and I think it was worthwhile. That intersection is confusing for anybody.

Overall I think this was a big hit! He feels newly confident in the neighborhood, and excited about taking more responsibility for himself.

Fender-crusher

I was in a fender-bender. Or perhaps fender-crusher would be a better term? It was just a few blocks from our house; I was taking Jordan to choir, and someone made a left turn without looking and ran into me. No one was hurt, the air bags did not deploy, we were close to home, the car was minimally driveable, and it was entirely the other person's fault; we were shaken up for sure, but overall this is a good kind of accident. The only bad part is that the front passenger corner of the car is smashed inward.

The other wrinkle is that the other driver has no insurance. Ouch. But she is completely cooperative and pleasant so far (not that she has had to actually do anything), so hopefully it will all be fine. We have uninsured motorist coverage, and since no one is hurt, that $10K is more than enough to cover the damage. Does my insurance company pursue her for the cost of the repair? Does this influence her future insurance rates? I assume so. Bummer. But she shouldn't have been driving uninsured, so, oh well.

The process is irritatingly slow... this happened on July 2, and the car wasn't even inspected until July 13. They estimated about $2000 worth of damage, which is pretty much what I expected. I pried the fender away from the wheel enough to drive it to the shop the next day. More time went by, during which we have had a lame rental car (a Dodge Dart, with windows like little portholes). Then yesterday (July 20), I got the bad call: When they took the car apart, they found further structural damage that would be more expensive to repair... more expensive than the car is worth, to them. In other words, the car is totaled. 

What a drag. The car is worth quite a lot to ME, because we need two cars -- not always, but regularly -- and we are certainly not in a financial position right now to get another car. For a minute there I was afraid they would take the car away in exchange for $3000, which would be terrible for us. It turns out that we have the option to keep the car, thank goodness; so hopefully we can get a lesser repair done for the amount that they will give us. Or pursue the person that hit me for the difference. But I am just really bummed to have to deal with this. Can I just have my car back the way it was?

Tour

Jordan is on a two-week tour with the Northwest Boychoir, to various locations in California (centered on San Francisco and LA). It's a hardworking tour (six concerts), but you can't sing every day, and in between they really show the boys a grand time. For example in the LA area their schedule includes the Getty Center, the Grammy Museum, a beach day at Corona del Mar, Mission San Juan Capistrano, and dinner at Medieval Times (a gigantic hit). I am sure Jordan is having a total blast.

Parents do not accompany the boys on tour (except for a few hardy chaperones), but knowing they were going to San Francisco, we popped down for a long weekend to see them sing and tag along on some of their touristing. It was a great time! We saw them perform twice, which was especially a treat for the grandparents hearing the choir for the first time. The first performance was in an extremely grand Gothic cathedral, very impressive.

The audience was on the lesser side for such a very grand location, but it did include the mayor of San Francisco (he has a nephew in the choir). The second performance was in a sweet little community church in Mill Valley, nowhere famous, but wow did they give the boys a great welcome. The congregation packed the pews, there was a lot of enthusiasm from the audience including a warm welcome from the Deacon, and they provided a festive reception after the concert, including cake for the choristers. 

The boys came out in their spiffy uniform slacks and Boychoir T-shirts and did a whole "meet the artists" thing, happily eating cake and schmoozing like you can't believe. Grownups engaged them in extended conversation about their experiences, their technique, their musicianship, you name it, and they answered questions, engaged in conversation, and accepted accolades. It was delightful to be there.

Between performances, we tagged along with them on various SF activities, including the Exploratorium and the California Academy of Sciences. It was fun to hang out with them, and it was a special balm for Aaron, who misses his brother tremendously.

We had dinner at the same restaurant as them once, too - they took up almost the whole place, but there was room in the loft for us. All the meals are prearranged -- Jordan selected his meals weeks before the tour. The whole thing is incredibly well-organized.

Here's a great shot by one of the chaperones on a day that we were not with them, in Sacramento at the Railroad Museum.

When we weren't with the boys, we entertained ourselves, and tried to show Aaron an extra good time. He misses his brother so much... for the first few days, he cried big sad tears at bedtime, and was heartbreakingly expressive about it. "I know he's okay, but when he's not here with me, I don't really know," he said through his sobs, and boy, do I understand. It has gotten easier for him as time has gone by. Here we having our own good time.

(In case you are wondering, Jordan didn't bring his new phone on this trip. He was too concerned he would lose it, and I fully supported his decision. Partly I think he should not be too closely connected to us on a trip like this. But I miss him too!) 

Phone

Jordan’s big birthday present from us was a phone. I think middle school is a good time to have a phone: he will be going some places on his own, like to the library or the Starbucks after school, and we’d like him to be able to tell us where he is. It’s a good time to start being socially connected directly, instead of only through your parents. And I think it’s a good idea for him to have it for a while before school starts, to practice. So the birthday was a good opportunity.

We went with a hand-me-down iPhone with a lot of restrictions. He can talk and text and FaceTime and take pictures and listen to music, but he has no web access, and cannot buy anything or download any apps without our assistance. (iPhones make this kind of restriction straightforward.) He also has no games: he had said to me earlier, “Mommy if I had a phone with games on it I just know I would play them all the time, and I would probably get five hours of screen time every day, and that would not be good. So please help me not do that.” Agreed, and done. About the web access, I’m a believer that eleven is too young to have the entire internet in your pocket. Semi-public internet access is enough for now, like he has on the laptop in the dining room. Jordan and I have discussed internet porn and the need to avoid strangers online because they might be tricky, but he has not had any actual experience with either of those yet, and I’d rather that happens with adults around for guidance. I will also be reading all his texts for a while (he knows this) because I think that is another area for learning – there’s a certain kind of manners involved, certain kinds of pictures that you should not send, and so on. Eventually we will have a family contract about phone behavior.

Right now, Jordan is barely discovering what all he can do with it. The most exciting part for him is the independent social contact. We don’t have a landline, so it’s very new for him. He had a FaceTime birthday call with Grandpa, which was great; he has so little experience talking on the phone that he tends to be awkward, but with the video, he was right at home. He is excited to text with friends who have that ability, and wants me to enter all his obligations into his calendar so that he knows when he’s free for playdates. (?!) He texts me just for fun, which I love. Here is an exchange we had during & at the end of his all-day choir rehearsal the other day (during which I did a luggage check for their upcoming tour):



He also has a lot of pointless conversations with Siri.

Ukulele

On an instinct I enrolled Aaron in a week of half-day ukulele camp. He totally loved it! Every day he learned a couple new chords and a simple song or two. Here he is at the family performance on the last day.

Aaron declared that he wanted a ukulele of his own, and what could be a more perfect birthday present? We got him this lovely concert uke from a musician in Seattle.



He plays all the time. He plays for fun, sings along sometimes, and goes back and forth between the uke and the piano, reproducing the chords. It’s wonderful! And it’s fun that it’s so portable. He took it with him on our recent trip to SF.

He even busted it out during some down time at the baggage claim, and immediately made friends with a banjo player.

D&D birthday

Jordan wanted to have a D&D birthday party, and I was the genius who recruited his brilliant dungeonmaster Ben (now the head of Dungeon School) to run it. It was a completely awesome day. Jordan landed himself a fantastic costume:

The nine players set themselves up in the basement (I guess that’s where D&D is really most at home) and went at it for four hours nonstop. Jordan is very into dragons, and their custom-designed adventure led them through the body of a dragon, in a submersible.

There was an inn in the gut of the dragon, whose front faced the lake of acid and mystical flotsam inside the dragon's belly.

The inn was a modular set piece with working doors, movable rooms, and staircases. Ben built it for the party and Jordan got to keep it for future adventures.

The climactic battle was a huge confrontation to save the life of the dragon, involving a frost worm, a necromancer who summoned dozens of skeletons, magical mists, and necrotic foam. Jordan himself vanquished the necromancer and was personally thanked by a vast dragon Eidolon, keeper of the winds of life, protector of the dragon's breath.

The frost worm also appeared on the cake – Jordan’s design, my execution. When the frost worm was beaten, we ate him.

Upstairs, there was literally nothing for us grownups to do. I actually took a nap at one point. Later in the afternoon some other parents came by and socialized. The kids emerged only when we forced the campaign to an end, sweating and shouting and declaring this the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Minecraft birthday

Aaron had an awesome Minecraft birthday involving no screen time! Instead, it was a paper Minecraft event. We purchased a big pile of Minecraft paper pop-out items and spread them on the table, and the kids merrily folded objects and tucked tabs for an hour and a half without pausing. It was sort of like a marathon of folding paper dolls, but instead with dirt blocks, trees, pigs, sheep, and cows. The kids were wild for it. They just folded and folded, and shouted at each other about Minecraft. 

When they had folded All The Things, they played with them. Each kid got to take home some of the things as a party favor. 

There were wearable Steve heads, which were hilarious. 

Eventually we herded them outside for Creeper Cake. I was pretty pleased with this one; chocolate cake, green frosting, and squares of fondant in black, grey, and green.

Finally, there were snowball and slimeball fights. (Ping pong balls and green water balloons.) It was a very hot day so the water play was much appreciated. We set up a mister.

Fun stuff!