Watch

Aaron is a kid who likes to know what time it is, in all senses. He likes to know what’s happening next, and how much time he has before the next transition, so that he can get ready. Jordan is not the same way; Jordan is happy to go along with whatever’s happening next, and doesn’t really need (or care) to know about it in advance. He likes surprises.

Jordan used a watch when he was on tour with the boychoir, because sometimes they were responsible for meeting at a certain place at a certain time. But he does not usually choose to wear his watch in his daily life. Aaron would like to have a watch, and Jordan’s is too big for him, so we agreed to get him his own.

We discussed whether Aaron would want a digital watch or an analog watch. I explained that there are pros and cons of each: If you get an analog watch, you become a master of reading the time, since you practice it a whole lot. If you get a digital watch, you often have extras like a timer and a stopwatch, so if those are useful to you, you might want a digital watch. He chose analog. We found this sweet little timex with a Velcro strap, so it fits a small wrist and is easy to get on and off. He loves it and wears it every day. Apparently he has been keeping tabs on the time in class, pointing out to his teacher when they have five minutes until they need to leave for music etc. I hope she enjoys this.

Little life

Ever since Phil died (over a year ago), Aaron has been asking very passionately for a pet. Dale and I do not want to adopt another major mammal at this time. Much as we loved Phil, we are really enjoying the absence of hair on the sofa (not to mention puke on the floor), and the freedom of going out of town without needing a cat-sitter. In addition, if we got a young cat now, we’d likely still have this cat when Aaron was finished with college. We do not want to make that kind of commitment.

Aaron, though, helped us to understand that he would not necessarily need this new pet to be a cat or a dog. What he wants is a little life that depends on him, that he can think of as his special companion. We have fish, but they are Dale’s fish: even though they are in the kids’ room, Dale chose them and Dale takes care of them. Aaron recently read a book in which the main character, a sixth-grade boy, had a goldfish companion, and Aaron thinks this would be satisfying for him.

So we have decided that Aaron may have his own fish tank. We will pay to set it up, but he will buy the fish and their food out of his allowance money, and he will be entirely responsible for their care. (Jordan can help too, but they will be Aaron’s responsibility.) If Aaron demonstrates that he can take good care of the fish, then in a few months, he may petition us for a more ambitious small animal, maybe a gerbil. (Gerbils only live a few years.)

Aaron is very happy with this plan. He has designed the Good Goldfish Aquarium of his dreams.

He has also been thinking about how fish experience the world. To a fish, for example, normal human abilities (like breathing air, or seeing colors) might seem like superpowers.

Decluttering

At a recent family meeting, I brought up the subject of Jordan's desk: What does he want to use it for? Because currently, it is basically a large shelf piled high with stuff. He said he really wants to use it as an actual desk, where he could sit to do homework or work on a project, but he doesn't know where to put all the things that have piled up there. The current storage areas are full of .... well, we don't even know what. Time for decluttering! The kids had not heard this word before but they like it quite a bit. We made a list of places full of mystery objects: not only the desk but also storage bins under the bed, shelves in their closet, and a couple of zones in the playroom upstairs.



Decluttering is effortful so we are making it more fun with incentives. First of all they get equal Minecraft time for time spent decluttering; that is a major incentive right there. But Aaron said, "Jordan and I really want to play Minecraft, so we might go slow to get more time." Therefore we added another incentive: For every bag of stuff that goes in the trash or out to the Goodwill, they get homemade lemonade or hot cocoa. (This was their choice of reward and they practically went through the ceiling when I said yes -- apparently these drinks are very motivating!) Finally, I promised to accompany their decluttering with a new genre of music every time, one they haven't heard of before. Jordan was fascinated by this idea.

We have had two sessions so far, less than half an hour each, and the boys are great at this! They save a few things and ditch the rest. They stay pretty well focused. They are amused by the music (Celtic yesterday, Bollywood today). They use me to help them organize what they're keeping (e.g., "let's make this box be for musical instruments and this box be for plastic animals"). They enjoy looking at a toy and thinking "I am not really interested in this anymore, but some other kid might be really excited about it!" We accomplished the entire under-the-bed zone, which was awesome. Aaron especially was blown away by how good he felt, both to get the boxes cleaned out and to make all these great donations.

Now that we have emptied some boxes, I'm hoping we'll see what to do with the stuff on the desk!

Superpower

I found this in Aaron's backpack:



Heck of a superpower actually. And so appropriate to Aaron, who so openly gives compliments, calls out injustices, and persists in correcting us when we misunderstand something.

Family meetings

We are reinstating weekly Family Meetings and really enjoying it. We have done this before, but not since 2011, which is ... a while. Aaron is helping us to model the meetings after his weekly Class Meetings at school, where they problem-solve about things that are troubling them, such as unfairness during games of four-square. At Aaron's prompting we have established an Agenda Book, which sits in the living room; whenever you think of something you want to discuss at the Family Meeting you jot it down in the book, instead of having to remember it on Sunday night or whatever. This is a great improvement. The meetings begin with compliments; then we address the concerns written in the book; then we end with a joke. Aaron likes to be the leader. He reads each concern aloud, begins the discussion with "Jordan [or whoever], is this still a concern?" and takes notes about our proposed solutions.

I am surprised by the concerns and suggestions that the kids come up with, which I think means the system is working; it's helping us have conversations we weren't already having. For example, one week I asked Jordan if there was anything more we could do to support him in choir, since it's a hardworking season. He said he wanted my help practicing 30-60 minutes a day; that I should choose a time when he's feeling happy with me, "like right after a delicious lunch," rather than a time when he might resent my intrusion, "like when I'm playing a game with Aaron"; and could I please get some gum to use as a motivator. Gum?! Who knew? I cheerfully got six kinds of gum and bribed both him and Aaron with it regularly, to everyone's apparent delight, and with excellent results for their music practice. But then at the next family meeting, Aaron shared the concern that I was overusing the gum - for example, giving it to both of them when only one of them was earning the reward. He asked me to dial back so that the gum doesn't lose its motivating power. How about that.

In a later week, Dale brought up the fact that our shared spaces get messy, and I suggested a regular cleanup time. Jordan asked, "How could we make a cleanup routine fun? And could we do it without bribes?" My first thought was - it's not supposed to be fun, you're just supposed to do it. But I kept quiet, and what do you know, we collaboratively came up with the great idea of a Cleanup Song. When a parent judges that there's some cleaning up that needs to happen, we just turn on the Cleanup Song, and for three minutes the kids clean up like crazy. We are all astonished by how much you can get done in three minutes! But if necessary we can just repeat the song. And no one needs to lecture or nag or even say one word. It's genius. The Cleanup Song is currently "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" (Jordan's choice); we plan to change it every couple of weeks.

We end with ridiculous kid-friendly jokes, such as:

Q. What does a tree wear to a pool party?

A. Swimming trunks.

Q. How do trees get on the internet?

A. They log in.

Lessons & Carpools

Lessons and Carols has begun again, and it feels very different from last year. Jordan has been on top of his music all along, instead of needing to memorize twenty songs at the last minute. We are familiar with the performance venues. Jordan is also much more familiar just with performing - with the routines, the details, and the attention required. We have a reliable new carpool team, thank goodness, because there is a huge amount of driving and our former carpool buddies moved to California. All in all the whole thing is very smooth so far. I have ushered at one performance and it was wonderful. His head of school was there too.

Jordan is in the third row on the far right, a bit shadowed. This year, the main challenge is for him to be a strong enough leader musically to help pull along the new guys. But they seem to be doing well; the first three concerts were quite decent according to the director, who has very high standards. You can hear clips on the Boychoir's Facebook page.

Going with you

Walking with Aaron to a friend’s house, looking at our shadows.

Aaron: Mommy do you like to have something that goes with you, like a stuffy, or a shadow?
Rachel: Sure, I like that. Or a friend.
Aaron: But a friend can sometimes go against you because they have their own opinion. That’s why I say something like a stuffy. Because even if I know I am wrong, I can always have them tell me that I’m right. That’s what I mean when I say they go with me.
Rachel: Oh, I get it.
Aaron: Like sometimes if I am doing my homework, and I thought I had a math problem right but Daddy says I got it wrong, I get really mad and I go in my room. And then Cater or Tov can say to me, “You know what Aaron? You are right.” And then I know that someone is on my side. That helps me feel a lot better.
Rachel: That’s great. Then you know you are not alone.
Aaron: That’s just what I mean.
Rachel: Maybe they also say to you, “Aaron you are an awesome kid. Math problem or no math problem.”
Aaron: And you are an awesome Mommy.
Rachel: Thank you for saying that.
Aaron: We are so lucky to be in a family where everyone is so kind to each other.

Stuffy friends

Aaron has many stuffies who are his precious companions. They keep him company, they talk to him, he helps them talk to the rest of us, they snuggle with him in bed. Aaron always wants to get new ones, so they are quite a large family by now.

Some of his friends have both English and Hebrew names. For example, Tov, the raccoon on the far left, has the English name Silvercoat. But we usually call him Tov, which means "good." This is funny at bedtime because we say "Laila tov, Tov!" (Night-good, Good!)

In front of Tov is Leopardy, and behind him is Sealy. Tigey and Stripey, the twin tigers, are on opposite sides of their friend Cater, who we think is a bobcat. In front is Tertwine, the sea turtle, and Umo the seal, both of whom joined us on our Hawaiian vacation. The big bear in the very back is Fuzzball, who is one of the oldest. Tucked in next to Tigey is Wolfy, who came to Zion and Bryce National Parks with us and got all red and dusty. Next to Wolfy is the seal named Yam, which means "sea" in Hebrew; he comes from the aquarium. Ari is right behind Yam; his full name is Ari-Yam, which means Lion-Sea (he is a sea lion). Then there is Dog, and Papa Sealy next to Dog. (Papa Sealy is the papa of Sealy; they are cousins with Yam and Umo, who are brothers.) Working our way towards the front we have the very special Shtaim ("Two"), so named because he is #2 after Tov. Shtaim joined us when we visited the Grand Canyon, and he gives the best hugs. The fox in the front row is Rak, meaning "only." The fish next to Rak is just a friend. On the farthest right we have Beary, Sharky, and Orcy. Behind all of them is Bubba, the venerable Bubba, whom Dale used to cherish when he was a little guy.

They all really enjoyed getting together for this photograph! And Aaron loves them all very much.

White board

At the beginning of the school year I got the boys their own white board, and we all dig it. I got it because they were asking me to write down things they wanted to remember on my white board, which is not what should be happening. Now they have their own space.

The top half is Jordan's and the bottom half is Aaron's. They immediately made rules (visible on the center left of the board):

1. Have fun
2. Respect sides and colors
3. NO LYING
4. Get creative
5. No mixing colors

There is space to write things they need to do, and designated doodle space. There are many colors of pens. The board is magnetic as well so they can put up papers they need. There is an eraser (okay, a rag) on a magnetic clip, and when they accomplish something written on the board, they experience the joy of white-board-erasing. It's a good thing.

The other boychoir

Another boychoir came through town on tour, the American Boychoir, and selected members of the Northwest Boychoir (including Jordan) opened for them. The American Boychoir has a great reputation; they have been regarded as the United States' premier concert boys' choir. It's a residential program, meaning the boys are in choir-centered boarding school, with about 15 hours of rehearsal a week and 100 performances a year. They have fallen on hard times in recent years (financially) and have been struggling as an organization. Our boys welcomed theirs with a social dinner, and then sang a twenty-minute opener to their ninety-minute concert, with all the proceeds benefiting their choir. I was super curious, because I don't think I've ever heard any boychoir in person other than ours, and this is supposed to be such a good one.

Their opening number was very beautiful and magical, delivered in a surround-sound kind of thing with boys arrayed around the perimeter of the room. And they had an entertainingly diverse repertoire: they did not only classical boychoir music but also Nigerian highlife music, a crazy Amazonian-jungle-noises kind of thing including an a capella passing storm, and other global vocal things. But I thought our boys' vocal quality was in another league from theirs. Ours have this incredibly rich, full sound, as pure as a diamond bell, yet filling the whole space in the church so fully that it vibrates your whole body along with it. I think that kind of sonorous perfection comes partly from getting every tiny little thing exactly right - every vowel shape, every rhythmic detail - and partly from having a kind of vocal training in which your voice becomes a beautiful instrument, so that listening is like being inside a concert violin. I think the other choir does not have either of these things, at least not at the level that we do. Their voices seemed thin and tense and reedy in comparison. They slumped their shoulders and shifted their feet. Their diverse repertoire was more about being fun than about being perfect (e.g., jungle sounds). And also I just think it might be impossible to pull off singing Nigerian highlife music in a tuxedo shirts and bow tie in a church without looking a little ridiculous. Jordan's director stays strictly within genre, and I am all for it. They should sing the music that showcases their extraordinary, specific talents. 

I came away feeling extremely impressed with our boychoir, and especially with Jordan's director, who knows how to bring out such amazing musicianship from these middle-school kids. They've got a truly great thing going.

First week of 6th grade

Jordan is off to a great start in his first week of middle school. I don't know a lot about it, but he says his teachers are energetic and friendly, and the other kids are welcoming and fun. I did find this piece of reflective writing in his folder (posted with his cheerful permission):

Sounds pretty darned good. And also it's just a nice piece of writing, compared to the old days when he had to work so hard to eke out a few sentences.

He has a complex schedule of classes in various buildings that changes every day and every week, because none of the classes meet every day, and they move things around so that specific subjects happen at different times of day. He carries a printed copy of that week's schedule around with him to tell him where to go. He explained to me that if he was to lose that, he could consult the copy posted on the wall in the main building; if that was not available he could ask another student, or if necessary a teacher. He seems very clear on everything. He has a planner, and a study skills class at which they organize their materials and learn how to manage everything.

Their study skills teacher shared with them that he is dyslexic, and explained what that has meant for him as a learner as well as how he used to be treated in school (he was not accommodated). He also explained how people that have special needs in one area often develop special strengths to go with it, such as persistence and creativity. Jordan liked this idea. When Jordan reported all this to me, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to tell him that he himself has some signs of dyslexia, including that it was harder for him to learn to write, and spelling is more difficult for him than for some people. We have never used the term with him before. Jordan was rather pleased with it and said, "That means I have other strengths." I agreed, and said his talents in building and music might be related.

Today was a service learning day, for the whole school: instead of regular classes, they bused the kids out to Lake Sammamish State Park to clear invasive blackberry brambles. He said, "At our school we will not only be learning things for our ongoing lives, but also we will be solving problems. They might be small problems like how to fix your own computer or big problems like some problem in the world. Today we are helping solve the blackberry problem." It rained a lot today and Jordan did not bring either a raincoat or a spoon for his yogurt; parent that I am, I worried that he would be miserable. But no: He had a blast. He used pruning shears and shovels and rakes, he learned that the plant grows back unless you excavate and chop up the root ball, he formed "Operation Kill It Here And Now" with a group of other kids, and he had the satisfaction of seeing a thicket of brambles cleared to nothing by the effort of his own team. It did not rain much and when it did he didn't care. He ate his yogurt with his fingers. He can't wait to do it again.

Dungeness Spit

One of the great places to visit on the Olympic Peninsula is the Dungeness Spit, a National Wildlife Refuge particularly known for seabirds. My aunt and uncle visiting from Maine are notorious birders so we were eager to take them there. Unfortunately I guess we were out of season; there was hardly a bird to be seen. But we still had a good time. 

The Dungeness Spit is a strip of sand sticking out into the Strait of Juan de Fuca on the north side of the Olympic Peninsula, 5.5 miles long and so narrow you could throw a rock from one side to the other. Aaron saw a picture of it on a map and declared that it makes perfect sense to call it a Spit because it looks like a long piece of drool. Well, okay.

The weather was gorgeous. Unfortunately that means sunscreen, which Jordan hates with a passion and resists by all possible means. 

The kids played in the sand, and all of us hiked along the long long beach.

We looked for birds.

We took a ride on a hilarious seesaw that someone made out of driftwood.

On the leeward side of the spit, we discovered a large pond surrounded by very squishy muck. Then we realized it was crab-filled muck! Little muck-colored crabs scuttling from one muck-hole to another everywhere we looked. Fun stuff!

Almost as much fun as the kelp trumpets. Just cut off the end of the bulb and however much stem, and there you are.

But nothing can be taken off the beach, so at the end of the visit, we returned them to the sea.

Port Townsend

My delightful aunt and uncle, Fred and Linda, came to Port Townsend for reasons of their own, and since Port Townsend is a heck of a lot closer than Pembroke, Maine (where they live), we were very happy to pop over and meet them. It's just a ferry ride away. 

Port Townsend is a pretty sweet little spot. They had a big building boom in the railroad era that filled the place with lovely Victorian architecture; then that all dried up, and not much happened after that economically so the buildings are still there. 

Here we are enjoying the company of the family.

We stayed in a charming vacation rental home, with a living room and parlor and many bedrooms, all entertainingly furnished. Here are the boys indulging in screen time at the dining room table. 

We took walks around town to admire the old buildings; here is the courthouse.

But a lot of the attraction is the water's edge. The kids can dig in the sand for any amount of time.

Aaron loooves sand, loves it all over, cares not what crevices it might enter or how much of it he takes home in his hair; he just loves it. Jordan buried him thoroughly, to both of their delight.

Dale discovered a couple years ago that if you cut off the end of a kelp bulb, it makes a terrific trumpet.

One night we attended a crab feast. Aaron was a complete natural: he cheerfully accepted instructions from me, became a terrific little crab picker in no time at all, and declared the whole operation delicious and fun. Jordan absolutely hated it and had to be taken somewhere else to eat.

Summer writing

Jordan has a summer writing assignment stemming from his birthday party: part of the charge for the party is that he write a 3000-word story, which the dungeonmaster will edit with him and submit to a youth writing contest. This is more than twice as long as anything else he has written. Awesome, right? When we agreed to this, we had all of summer before us... and then Jordan went out of town for upwards of six weeks. (Three weeks of Boychoir tour, one week of Boychoir overnight camp, and a week each of Aunt Kari camp and Grandma camp.) So hello, middle of August, and let's get started. 

The first time Jordan was invited to work on this he was pretty irritated. He felt like he was being punished for his birthday party! But he managed to give it a go, and found out a couple of things: (1) He can't write when he's mad, only when he has a positive attitude. Fortunately he is skilled at making this happen. (2) When he writes with a positive attitude, writing is fun and rewarding. These are excellent things to learn. Every day he tries to write a little more than the day before; he started out producing maybe 100 words in 30-40 minutes, then gradually got up to 150, then 200, and this morning wrote a killer 350 words in about that time. Wow! He is very impressed with himself and rightly so. 

He has encountered some obstacles. Some days he does not want to do it, and then gets mad, and then is really not in the space to do it, but still has to. This morning he solved the problem by writing in bed, under a blanket. It totally worked! He is up to 2400 words now.

First day of third grade

Aaron's first day of third grade was a hit! Here we all are on the way in. Jordan doesn't start until next week, so he was free to join the fun.

Third graders are upstairs, which is a big promotion, and get lockers instead of cubbies. Jordan enjoyed showing various kids (and their parents) how the lockers work.

In the classroom, Aaron's first task was to make a nametag for his locker. That is, after posing with his big brother.

Aaron is very happy with things so far. His Hebrew teacher told a joke in Hebrew, which was a great pleasure for those who were able to appreciate it (including Aaron). His PE teacher was formerly in the NFL. And one of his after-school clubs is Dungeons & Dragons, which he is eagerly learning. Looking forward to a great year!

Pleasant surprises

Jordan had to get a shot yesterday, and while no one enjoys that, the anticipation was the worst part. Afterwards, we had a treat at a café and talked about what might have made it go more smoothly. A friend of his was with us.

Rachel: I noticed you started to get more upset when the doctor said that the shot makes some people faint. Would you rather she had not told you that?
Jordan: Yes. I did not want to hear that. She could have just given me the shot and it would not have been so bad.
Friend: I would want to hear it. I want to know the truth ahead of time.
Jordan: I don't want to know. I prefer to be surprised.

Ain't that the way? Some people are anxious if they don't know what's going to happen -- probably because they imagine something bad possibly happening, and find it reassuring to be able to prepare. (Myself, I always want to know what the plan is for lunch, because I worry about lunch being late or insufficient.) Other people, like Jordan, are not anxious about the future, so hearing about negative possibilities tends to add stress.

Later that same day, there was a middle school information session, and the friend definitely wanted to go. Jordan did not, saying again that he prefers to be surprised. He said, "Usually when we do something new it's great with me. I don't need to know about it ahead of time. In fact I kind of like to just discover it right then and there. I think at Billings they're going to say, 'Today we are trying this sport,' and even if I never heard of it before, I'm going to say, 'Cool! Let's do it!' " He likes novelty, and his experience is that most of life's surprises are pleasant.

Summer camp reflections

Summer is coming to an end, and as usual there have been a lot of camps to keep the kids entertained and supervised while we're at work. Here is their summer calendar:

Week	Jordan	Aaron
1	Day hiking (Evergreen)	Puget Sound Sea Life/Sports Medley (Evergreen)
2	Jedi Academy/Fencing (Evergreen)	Nature Intelligence/Ukulele (Evergreen)
3	Boychoir tour camp	Rockets and Astronauts (Villa)
4	Boychoir tour	Family trip to SF
5	Boychoir tour	Art with Morah Bibi (SJCS)
6	Boychoir tour	Camp Leatt
7	Grandma camp	Grandma camp
8	Boychoir camp (SPU)	Boychoir camp (SPU)
9	Aunt Kari camp	Aunt Kari camp
10-11	Zoo camp	Zoo camp

I asked them to rate each of their summer camps on a scale of 1 to 10. They had fun with this task, and it was fun to find out that they were fantastically happy with almost everything they did this summer and would eagerly do it again. (I'm happy to share specifics if other parents are interested.) I also learned about their values; Jordan especially loves to have a lot of excitement and challenge and novelty, whereas Aaron especially loves to be with family.

All of this is good to know, because I think we have a couple more years of summer camps before the next era. What is that next era -- summer jobs? Yowza. I guess that's what it was for me. My elementary school was year-round so it wasn't an issue, but starting in middle school I volunteered at the zoo and worked as a receptionist at the JCC. Or was that high school? I think I was 14 before I was a summer nanny. I did not have summer childhoods full of camps - I only remember a week here and there in the basement of the California Academy of Sciences, some fun and some boring. Our kids have it pretty good. And we both work all summer, which I think my mom did not. My memories are surprisingly vague.

Greenlake orientation

Jordan’s upcoming middle school is in Greenlake, a fun and dense neighborhood with lots of amenities and very little parking. Unlike in elementary school, students are just released, not signed out by a parent. (!) Jordan won’t be able to go home on his own, so he and his friends are likely to go somewhere nearby to hang out while they wait for parents to show up – the library, the bookstore, the Starbucks, etc. This is one of the reasons I think he needs a phone, to tell me where he is.

Technology is good but he also needs to be able to just find his way around like a regular person. So the other day, he and I spent part of an afternoon getting oriented in the neighborhood. We started at the school and walked together to each location (school, library, bookstore, Starbucks, grocery store with frozen yogurt next door). I let him lead as much as possible, and it was very entertaining to see him actively locating himself – peering down side streets, checking street signs, noting landmarks – it made me aware that normally, he is very much the passenger in life. After we had made one round, he made another round on his own: his job was to go to each place and take a photo, then come back to me, sitting in the park. (I watched him on FMF.) He relished this and was very successful. The only hard part was crossing Greenlake Way, a busy street with a weird five-way intersection. We practiced that a few times afterwards. He was rather chagrined to have to practice crossing the street, but he put up with it, and I think it was worthwhile. That intersection is confusing for anybody.

Overall I think this was a big hit! He feels newly confident in the neighborhood, and excited about taking more responsibility for himself.

Fender-crusher

I was in a fender-bender. Or perhaps fender-crusher would be a better term? It was just a few blocks from our house; I was taking Jordan to choir, and someone made a left turn without looking and ran into me. No one was hurt, the air bags did not deploy, we were close to home, the car was minimally driveable, and it was entirely the other person's fault; we were shaken up for sure, but overall this is a good kind of accident. The only bad part is that the front passenger corner of the car is smashed inward.

The other wrinkle is that the other driver has no insurance. Ouch. But she is completely cooperative and pleasant so far (not that she has had to actually do anything), so hopefully it will all be fine. We have uninsured motorist coverage, and since no one is hurt, that $10K is more than enough to cover the damage. Does my insurance company pursue her for the cost of the repair? Does this influence her future insurance rates? I assume so. Bummer. But she shouldn't have been driving uninsured, so, oh well.

The process is irritatingly slow... this happened on July 2, and the car wasn't even inspected until July 13. They estimated about $2000 worth of damage, which is pretty much what I expected. I pried the fender away from the wheel enough to drive it to the shop the next day. More time went by, during which we have had a lame rental car (a Dodge Dart, with windows like little portholes). Then yesterday (July 20), I got the bad call: When they took the car apart, they found further structural damage that would be more expensive to repair... more expensive than the car is worth, to them. In other words, the car is totaled. 

What a drag. The car is worth quite a lot to ME, because we need two cars -- not always, but regularly -- and we are certainly not in a financial position right now to get another car. For a minute there I was afraid they would take the car away in exchange for $3000, which would be terrible for us. It turns out that we have the option to keep the car, thank goodness; so hopefully we can get a lesser repair done for the amount that they will give us. Or pursue the person that hit me for the difference. But I am just really bummed to have to deal with this. Can I just have my car back the way it was?

Tour

Jordan is on a two-week tour with the Northwest Boychoir, to various locations in California (centered on San Francisco and LA). It's a hardworking tour (six concerts), but you can't sing every day, and in between they really show the boys a grand time. For example in the LA area their schedule includes the Getty Center, the Grammy Museum, a beach day at Corona del Mar, Mission San Juan Capistrano, and dinner at Medieval Times (a gigantic hit). I am sure Jordan is having a total blast.

Parents do not accompany the boys on tour (except for a few hardy chaperones), but knowing they were going to San Francisco, we popped down for a long weekend to see them sing and tag along on some of their touristing. It was a great time! We saw them perform twice, which was especially a treat for the grandparents hearing the choir for the first time. The first performance was in an extremely grand Gothic cathedral, very impressive.

The audience was on the lesser side for such a very grand location, but it did include the mayor of San Francisco (he has a nephew in the choir). The second performance was in a sweet little community church in Mill Valley, nowhere famous, but wow did they give the boys a great welcome. The congregation packed the pews, there was a lot of enthusiasm from the audience including a warm welcome from the Deacon, and they provided a festive reception after the concert, including cake for the choristers. 

The boys came out in their spiffy uniform slacks and Boychoir T-shirts and did a whole "meet the artists" thing, happily eating cake and schmoozing like you can't believe. Grownups engaged them in extended conversation about their experiences, their technique, their musicianship, you name it, and they answered questions, engaged in conversation, and accepted accolades. It was delightful to be there.

Between performances, we tagged along with them on various SF activities, including the Exploratorium and the California Academy of Sciences. It was fun to hang out with them, and it was a special balm for Aaron, who misses his brother tremendously.

We had dinner at the same restaurant as them once, too - they took up almost the whole place, but there was room in the loft for us. All the meals are prearranged -- Jordan selected his meals weeks before the tour. The whole thing is incredibly well-organized.

Here's a great shot by one of the chaperones on a day that we were not with them, in Sacramento at the Railroad Museum.

When we weren't with the boys, we entertained ourselves, and tried to show Aaron an extra good time. He misses his brother so much... for the first few days, he cried big sad tears at bedtime, and was heartbreakingly expressive about it. "I know he's okay, but when he's not here with me, I don't really know," he said through his sobs, and boy, do I understand. It has gotten easier for him as time has gone by. Here we having our own good time.

(In case you are wondering, Jordan didn't bring his new phone on this trip. He was too concerned he would lose it, and I fully supported his decision. Partly I think he should not be too closely connected to us on a trip like this. But I miss him too!)