Phone

Jordan’s big birthday present from us was a phone. I think middle school is a good time to have a phone: he will be going some places on his own, like to the library or the Starbucks after school, and we’d like him to be able to tell us where he is. It’s a good time to start being socially connected directly, instead of only through your parents. And I think it’s a good idea for him to have it for a while before school starts, to practice. So the birthday was a good opportunity.

We went with a hand-me-down iPhone with a lot of restrictions. He can talk and text and FaceTime and take pictures and listen to music, but he has no web access, and cannot buy anything or download any apps without our assistance. (iPhones make this kind of restriction straightforward.) He also has no games: he had said to me earlier, “Mommy if I had a phone with games on it I just know I would play them all the time, and I would probably get five hours of screen time every day, and that would not be good. So please help me not do that.” Agreed, and done. About the web access, I’m a believer that eleven is too young to have the entire internet in your pocket. Semi-public internet access is enough for now, like he has on the laptop in the dining room. Jordan and I have discussed internet porn and the need to avoid strangers online because they might be tricky, but he has not had any actual experience with either of those yet, and I’d rather that happens with adults around for guidance. I will also be reading all his texts for a while (he knows this) because I think that is another area for learning – there’s a certain kind of manners involved, certain kinds of pictures that you should not send, and so on. Eventually we will have a family contract about phone behavior.

Right now, Jordan is barely discovering what all he can do with it. The most exciting part for him is the independent social contact. We don’t have a landline, so it’s very new for him. He had a FaceTime birthday call with Grandpa, which was great; he has so little experience talking on the phone that he tends to be awkward, but with the video, he was right at home. He is excited to text with friends who have that ability, and wants me to enter all his obligations into his calendar so that he knows when he’s free for playdates. (?!) He texts me just for fun, which I love. Here is an exchange we had during & at the end of his all-day choir rehearsal the other day (during which I did a luggage check for their upcoming tour):



He also has a lot of pointless conversations with Siri.