Aquarium

The household's other big Christmas gift (besides the piano) was an aquarium. It's in the boys' bedroom and it's a huge hit. We populated it with zebrafish and guppies, the kinds of fish Dale works with daily and knows well, plus one snail.

The snail has a surprising amount of personality: she motors around the tank at a remarkable speed, and she's anatomically interesting. Jordan has named her Snaisy. (I puzzled over how to spell that, and decided it must be like Daisy - or Snail, for that matter. Although I was briefly tempted to honor Patrick Swayze.)

The fish are more difficult to think of as individuals: there are six guppies and four zebrafish, a lot of them look alike, and they move fast. But we may yet manage to name them. Here is the prettiest guppy (with Snaisy in the foreground).

And here are the zebrafish, moving too fast to photograph. This dashing around together in the foliage suggests they are spawning. We are glad they are happy and we hope Snaisy eats the eggs; there are enough zebrafish already.

Recommended

We liked it a lot. If I had it to do over again I'd go straight to the IMAX version, and go early to get a really good seat.

Surprise!

I threw Dale a big surprise birthday party on Sunday. His birthday is too often neglected (it's December 30)... as a child, it was so bad he used to celebrate his half-birthday instead. I didn't know who would really want to come to a party on Dec 27; people might be out of town, or sick of parties, or whatever. But almost everyone I asked wanted to come and help Dale celebrate! So I told Dale that one family was coming over for dinner (so that he would not make other plans), and started surreptitiously cooking.

On the big day, first one friend showed up, then another, then more and more, and eventually there were 22 adults and 10 kids! Dale was very surprised! Our house has never contained such festivity before (at least not on our watch) and it was a lot of fun. There were neighbors, old friends, new friends, music friends, and family. Some brought iTunes gift cards (my suggestion), others brought balloons, some brought wine, some brought side dishes, one brought a pie. I had made two other pies (from our own summer fruit!) and a bunch of little cakes shaped like bugs, as well as a ham, a vat of mac and cheese, three kinds of fresh-baked bread, veggies and dip, etc. The secret cooking was really the most challenging part. But I somehow pulled it off without Dale thinking much of it. "She's always cooking, anyway," Dale said when people asked him how he missed it. I was amazed at how easily our house accommodated so many people. The kids all disappeared upstairs and apparently had a whale of a time shooting each other with sponge darts. Aaron at one point did a wild jumping dance with the entire bunch of balloons bouncing all around him, shrieking with joy, and in the process winding the balloon ribbons into a ten-inch dreadlock. The high point was when we all gathered around to sing Happy Birthday to Dale before his platter of candle-lit bug cakes, with our brother-in-law Tony playing along on the new piano.

Happy Birthday to Dale! And here's to the next 39 years.

Holidayed

I had not really thought of this before, but Hanukkah has got one up on Christmas in the sense that it is usually first. By the time our family got to Christmas we already had holiday fatigue (and hardly took any pictures). On the other hand, Christmas definitely got the larger share of the shopping. But it's not a competition, now is it?

One of our first holiday events was a kindergarten performance at the University Bookstore, in which Mrs. Murphy and the music teacher led the kids in songs they have been working on in class. This being a public school event, there was a carefully secular selection of seasonal classics and one Hanukkah dirge. If I never hear that song again it'll be too soon. Jordan had no interest in singing any of it, but was delighted to run around the stacks with his buddy Sam.




In the eight nights of Hanukkah we had five nights of latkes, which is a new record for me. First night was at our house with family; then there was a Temple party, a preschool party, a work party of Dale's (at which my latkes got raves from the goyim), and on the last night a party at Kari and Danny's. Pictures from the last night only, but that's when the menorahs are at their best, anyway.

Much dreidl was played, and Aaron outlasted the older kids by quite a bit. He's good.


Then Christmas at last. We were pleased to have the eve at home this year, with just Grandma joining us. Dale is a fan of the Single Stunning Gift.

This year the big event was an electronic piano. He plays some, the boys are quite interested, and who knows, maybe I will be the next Tori Amos. Although I guess she started at age two, so maybe I will just have to inpsire Aaron.

Girl T-rexes

It's pretty darned cold here. Two days ago, I lent Jordan a scarf, but yesterday, when we were bundling up for the walk to school, he said, "Mommy I am only wearing the gloves today, not the scarf. Keegan said I look like a girl." I had about nine internal reactions at once, including "That scarf is blue!" and "Who cares what Keegan thinks, it's cold!" But instead I attempted to take the gender issue by the horns.

Rachel: That makes it sound like someone thinks that being a girl is worse than being a boy, and honestly, that hurts my feelings.
Jordan: (long pause) But boys are stronger.
Rachel: Some boys are stronger than some girls, and some girls are stronger than some boys.
Jordan: But we all had a race, Sam and Chloe and Sophie and me, and the boys won.

I was not sure where to go with this. By this time we were on our way down the block to the school. But I just kept up the conversation.

Jordan: A boy is strong like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Rachel: You know, half of the Tyrannosaurus Rexes that ever lived were girls.
(Jordan stops in his tracks! Looks at me in disbelief!)
Jordan: Mama, that is so silly, they were not girls!
Rachel: Oh yes they were. There were just as many girl T-rexes as boy T-rexes.
Jordan: (Laughing, like it's a big joke.) You can't know that, Mama! They don't know everything about dinosaurs. You just made that up.
Rachel: Actually this is one thing we DO know. There had to be girl T-rexes or there would not be anyone to lay eggs and hatch new babies.
Jordan: The daddies could take care of the eggs.

Big points for acceptance of diverse family arrangements, but not so clear on the biology! I'm just pleased that I found a way to challenge his gender assumptions. I never would have thought of girl T-rexes as helpful resources, but now I am a fan. What do you want to bet Jordan is picturing them with long eyelashes and bows on their heads?

Big boy bed

The days of Aaron's playpen have been numbered for a while now. Aaron was happy enough, and could get in and out by himself, but the thing was turning into a jungle gym. I'd peek in to their room and there would be Jordan balanced on all fours on the top rails. Here are the two of them "resting" in there together (not):


We tried a crib mattress on the floor. The boys again immediately climbed in together.


At bedtime, Aaron was willing to give his new bed a go, but it was really too small for him. The first night, I found him half-asleep in the middle of the floor, grunting unhappily, trying to get comfortable. The second night, he just sat on the edge of the mattress and cried.

So we got him a twin bed. The day it arrived, the boys christened it with much jumping. When it was time to go to bed, Aaron was willing to sleep in it... and Jordan wanted to sleep in it too! We let them try it, and oh my goodness, it was so impossibly cute, I cannot tell you. Here they are posing.

We were afraid this would be way too exciting for actual sleep, but what do you know, they nodded off. They have always been great sleepers. In the middle of the night Jordan got up and went in his own bed; "Aaron was bonking me with his head," he explained. I think that means he was snuggling too close. But the next night they went to bed together again, and every night since. They love it. We love it. Maybe we didn't even need that other bed.

They are also very capable of being cute on the couch.

Winterfest

For many years now we have been enjoying Christmas at Kari and Danny's house, hauling across the country for the occasion and living with them for a week or so. Last year, we were blissfully happy to have only a 40-minute drive to the festivities. Somewhere in the course of last year's holidays, though, we realized: We live here now. We have the luxury of spending the last couple weeks of December at home. We have the opportunity to host as well as to be guests, and to establish traditions of our own. What would we do if we were doing it our way?

This is a really interesting question in many families, I think. I heard someone say once that all families are interfaith families, because everyone comes with their own unique beliefs and traditions. My family of origin's tradition was mostly to be guests, and since I identify as Jewish, I have the potential to be pretty disinterested in Christmas. Dale, however, cherishes the festive Christmas traditions he grew up with, including a tree brought in from the woods, lots of cookie and candy and ornament making, and one or two extremely special gifts, from Santa, that were way beyond what he would hope for at any other time of year. What to do?

When in doubt, learn. Last year I learned that Santa is a fantastic mishmash of American immigrant traditions, owing parts of his identity not only Saint Nicholas (a Greek bishop from what is now Turkey), Charles Dickens, Coca-Cola, and Washington Irving (who cartooned him as a Dutch sailor, with a pipe), but also to Odin (who rode an eight-legged flying horse; if you left boots of straw by the fireplace for him, he'd replace the straw with candy). I love that! My research has helped me to decide that there are really two different holidays, the Christmas with the baby Jesus and another one that I wish I could call Winterfest but I think I would sound like a kook. I am perfectly happy to celebrate Winterfest. In fact, I am looking forward to it.

Thus, when we found ourselves with nothing to do at 5pm today, we went out and got ourselves a tree. How about that? There is a fabulous tree lot just down the street from us, like something out of the 1950s, with enthusiastic young men happy to help you pick the perfect tree. They gave ours a fresh cut, stuck it in their special tree shaker to shake off the loose needles, wrapped it in fishnet, tied it to the car for us, and gave candy canes to the kids. Here it is in the living room.


My next plan is to have a crafty and frugal December, making ornaments with the kids. Posts are promised.

Weekly

Aaron's turn

We took Aaron to the ophthalmologist yesterday, just to check whether he might need glasses like his brother. The exam for two-year-olds is even more astonishing than for five-year-olds: they showed him letters on a computer screen, and asked him to "find the match" on a card he was holding. It seemed like a complicated game for a toddler to play, but he hit it every time. And they were letters - T, V, O, H. Did you know two-year-olds could match letters?

After establishing that he understood the game, they patched one eye for the real exam. (That was the only part he didn't like.) The result: Aaron has excellent vision. Yay!

Making heat

The dryer is not heating. Based on a prior experience and internet research, we ordered a new thermal cutoff and high-limit thermostat for $20 and installed them ourselves.

It didn't solve the problem. This is particularly a bummer because the clothes we took to dry at the neighborhood laundromat today came back reeking of cigarettes. Eew.

I did make heat in the kitchen today: my first-ever batch of chili sauce, from homegrown chilis. It is eye-poppingly hot.

Halloween

I like to learn about holidays. This year I learned that Halloween probably originated in a Celtic festival marking the start of the dark half of the year, and that the pumpkin carving is an American reinterpretation of turnip carving, imported by the Irish. Have you ever seen a carved turnip head? Totally eerie.

Our own Halloween began with a carving party at Jordan's school. Jordan, as you can see, is The King. (We know not of what.) Aaron, unlike last year, was excited to wear a costume but only if it was composed of familiar elements: add a fireman hat to your usual raincoat, and ta-da! No masks: Aaron has a horror of masks. We can't even watch the diver at the Seattle Aquarium because Aaron comes unhinged at his snorkeling mask.

The climax of the festivities was lining up all the pumpkins on bleachers on the stage, lighting over 150 tealights (which took a while), and turning out the lights to admire the spectacle.


On the holiday itself, family and friends converged on our house for an orange-themed dinner: carrot soup, kabocha squash galette, and mac-and-cheese. Crazy how you invite two families and it's twelve people! Kari and Sam made candy apples while Holstein Man scanned the horizon.


It was not possible to round us all up for the group shot.


Trick-or-treating was a gas. There were six kids, ages 2, 3, 5, 5, 5, and 8, and they were explosively enthusiastic. They got so much candy they literally filled up their buckets and could collect no more. Sam's handle actually broke from the weight. Then they came back to the house and methodically chewed and crunched and licked and poured.

They have not asked for any of it since.

Accurate report

A few photos

The blur is Ava. She always moves that fast.

Aaron is very content in the garden. Maybe when he's older we'll tell him we found him in the cabbage patch.

Jordan is more at home on the couch with Grandpa.

Earthcake safety

We have been discussing earthquake safety at the dinner table. Since I have been in earthquake drills since kindergarten, it seems natural to me, and there are quakes in Seattle so it seems like a good thing to discuss. The boys find it fascinating and want to hear about it over and over again. They don't seem troubled, just interested. Maybe because they call it an "earthcake" it sounds less worrisome. When I asked what they thought you should do to be safe in an earthquake, Jordan said, "If you are driving a car and a giant crack opens up in the earth in front of the car, the driver should be very careful not to drive the car into the crack." An excellent start. He also said you should do what the parents say, which is a good plan as well. We went over the basics (if you are inside, stay inside, etc.). They like to practice hiding under the dining room table. Jordan has been testing his earthquake logic by figuring out what you should do if you are in the living room, in your bed, walking to school, etc. All good. He has also been coming up with less likely scenarios: "What should you do if there is an earthcake when you are up in the top of a tree?" I admitted that would be a tough one.

Language and sensemaking

Jordan is figuring out spelling. School encourages him to do a mixture of carefully sounding out words and just guessing, which I think is great. Apparently we all read by letting our brains fill in the blanks anyway, so why not put that human skill to good use from the start? It's worth sacrificing some accuracy for speed, is my feeling, since if you forget the beginning of the word by the time you get to the end, you've kind of missed the point.

Sounding things out is not necessarily a reliable way to spell correctly, either. Of course there's the old line about "photi" - "ph" as in pharmacy, "o" as in women, "ti" as in nation. But Jordan has decided that dragon starts with a J. Go ahead, say it aloud: it DOES start with a "j" sound, at least the way I say it. Jragon. Am I wrong? And truck, according to Jordan, starts with "ch." This blows me away. I didn't hear a "ch" until he pointed it out to me, but once he did, it honestly seemed more reasonable to me than the alternative. I told him I was impressed with his accurate hearing (and for that matter, spelling), and pretty much left it at that. At some point he'll learn that truck starts with T and eight starts with E and all that.

Aaron, meanwhile, was talking on the phone with Grandma the other day, and she asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Talking on the phone with Grandma." Right. I was reminded of when Rosencrantz and Gildenstern asked Hamlet what he was reading and he said "Words, words, words." Or when Holden Caulfield, to the same question, answered "Goddamn book." Aaron wasn't being flippant, though. His answer made me realize how often we help him attend to and name what he's doing by saying things like "Aaron, are you drawing a fish?" when we already know the answer. Maybe it's time to back off on that.

Artificial mystery flavor

Jordan got a lollipop as a prize in a bingo game at school, and here is the label. What is the world coming to?

I asked Jordan what it tasted like to him, and he said vanilla.

Rainy day lineup

On dry days, the elementary school kids line up outside, but when it's raining, they use various indoor locations. Kindergarteners are in the lunchroom. It's pretty chaotic. Here are two kindergarten classes... the rest of the room has ten more tables full of older kids.

Jordan butting heads with Keegan. Identical jackets... I hope I remembered to put Jordan's name in his.

He spotted me and started posing.

Weekly

Sukkah building, phase III

Dale and I did the framing this morning. (Those of you who frown on Saturday building projects, please avert your eyes.) We are relieved that we bought the kit instead of designing our own. And next year will be faster, because the brackets stay half on. The blackened screw heads are the permanent ones.


The walls are a cross between mesh and a tarp. From the outside it's a little industrial looking, but inside it's great - mostly transparent. They are attached with a simple system of bungee loops.


Kari and Harry and Sam came over with a trunk full of boughs for the roof, and we cut more from the hazelnut tree.


There was much decorating. We hung gourds, fake grapes, dried flowers, bunches of branches, pipe-cleaner spiders, and various other art creations from the kids.


I explained the symbolism of the lulav and etrog, and we all shook it.


We think this is a terrific holiday! We even ate dinner out here. It was chilly, but quite fun. And convenient in its way... no one had to sweep the floor afterwards.