I really need to seize this opportunity. Harris talked about our dinners, and it was a regular ritual. They tended to be bacchanal. We would drink and we would eat. Our last one was in December of last year. Steve picked me up in his cab -- we wouldn't drive our cars, we would only go by cab. I said "How you doing?" and he said, "Well, to be very frank," and he would be very frank, "I've lost some weight." I said, "Well, couldn't hurt!" I meant that in the nicest way. But it did look like he had lost quite a bit of weight. He said, "I really don't eat very well right now." I said "Steve, that's not like you." He said, "But tonight, we're going to be okay, and we're going to have a wonderful evening. I've been looking forward to it." And indeed we picked up Harris, we went, and Steve ordered, he would always order the same thing, everything would always be the same, including the orange wrapped in prosciutto, I don't know why he enjoyed that so much, he would always have that. He did order tonight, he could barely eat it, he ate half a petite filet, I remember this. He had hiccups. And then he said, "But I did want a drink." I said, "Well of course!" We had already had our share, but one more is certainly good for the road. He ordered his vodka martini -- He would never say, they would say "What kind of vodka, sir?" and he would say, "Vodka. Please." Very self-deprecating that way. He toasted, and he said: "I have hiccups. But I just turned 75 and I want to toast my good health." And that was ironic, because little did we know at the time. He said he had scheduled an endoscopy. I called a few days later, and said "When is that scheduled?" and he said "Well, I kind of moved it up. I moved it up because I'm feeling a little bit, I'm scuffled a little bit since the last time we met," which was just two days ago. I said "Well that's probably wise." And then of course he was diagnosed.
We had two gatherings at Steve's house. Steve was very up front about what was happening to him. Like all things, he embraced it with knowledge and research. He was talking to us, and talking to us would help. Then he went up to Seattle with Rachel. And one of the finest things that I've done is make that trip, with Ben and Doug and Jim. It's funny, I was in trial at the time in Martinez, of all places, and I asked the judge, I said, "I've got a problem. I'd like to take a day off and go up to Seattle to visit friend who's ailing." And she said, "Couldn't you do it on a Friday?" After all, you get Fridays off, and this was Wednesday. And I said, "Yes. I could. There's really no reason I couldn't do that, and I would, if that's what you want. But there's this group of guys that I'd like to go with. It would be easier for me if I could do that, and I think our friend would enjoy it more." We got there, Steve was having a good day, it was a good day. The first forty-five minutes we sat around and he explained to us his course of treatment, what he was going through, with his hands flying in the air as he does. And then we got to talk. Ben was asking questions - Ben is very ebullient. Jim was just stunned. We were quiet. Then we started to talk about cases, cases that we had done together. I told the story of our death penalty trial in Redwood City, we were representing a young man who was accused of killing a police officer from East Palo Alto. We were coming upon a penalty phase, and I had written out this penalty phase argument. I said "Steve, I always like to keep you in the loop, and I'd like you to listen." And this was at his house, and I read it to him, and about an hour and a half later he said, "Oh, don't do that." I said, "Okay, there seems to be a problem," and he said, "Let me modify it a little bit." I'm writing, writing, word for word, leaving nothing to chance, the whole thing was changed, turned on its ear, and we ended up saving the young man's life. It was great. When the argument was over, he looked at me and he said, "Michael, that's the best I've ever heard." [laughter]
We played tennis every Saturday at Washington High. Rachel and Matthew, my older son, we would go to the Lucky Penny on weekends, which is the Copper Penny now. Not great meals, but nonetheless that's what we did, because we were cheap and we loved to eat, we really did.
One of the most remarkable weddings that I've ever been to in my life was in Portland, with Rachel and Dale, and of course we went up with Doug and Freya and Betsy. It's funny, because Steve was attending to the wedding party, as he should be. And Ben, my god, the events that we had - Steve would say "Are you guys enjoying yourselves?" and we would say "Yes we are, we're doing rather well!" [laughter] He had no idea what was going on but it is still one of the most wonderful life cycle events that I've ever been to. We had so much fun.*
And here's something else: This is - I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I had a time in my life when I thought I was going to be married. I thought I was going to get married, and I was committed to getting married. Apparently I proposed, apparently she said yes, plans had been made, venues, that kind of thing. Deep into it. I realized that at night I was waking up with anxiety, I was having dreams, Betsy I had gotten to know, she was a friend, but I had taken a shine to her from afar, already. I just felt like this relationship, I cannot, I can't do this. She was living out in the Richmond district at that time, not too far from Steve. I remember, I had my key, her key, and I was going to go do this thing. Terrifying. But I had to do it. I walked in I said "Listen. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. There is something that I need to, um, I need to cancel. Is that the right word? I need to put an end to this and I'm awfully sorry." She was very hurt. Often we're on the wrong side of these things. I didn't mean any harm. It was self-preservation. I must say that when I got out the door, even though I rained some terrible hurt on somebody, I did have wings on my heels. I felt better. And I said, wait a minute! Where am I going to go right now? Footloose and fancy free. And it was just one of those things, I said "I've got ten blocks and I know exactly where I'm going," and I went banging on Steve's door, and I said listen, I've just been through this thing. He said, "A scotch?" I knew exactly where he kept it, out it came, and the peanuts, always the peanuts. Steve did try to make a chess player of me, he would do that. I was just awful. He would always say, "Well you will recall, the last time we did this, and you will recall." It was just a night that I remember. I felt like I saved my life, and I shared it with a friend, someone that I knew was my neighbor for 42 years.
When I think about it, the first person that I know of that was a lawyer I met when I was twelve, that was Marty Lurie. And I think the second person was Steve Scherr, when I was out here. I felt like I'd known him forever. Again, this trip up to Seattle was one of the greatest things that I've ever done - things I'm most thankful for. And this has taken me aback. It really has. It's remarkable what a nice human being. I'll miss him.
And here's something else: This is - I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. I had a time in my life when I thought I was going to be married. I thought I was going to get married, and I was committed to getting married. Apparently I proposed, apparently she said yes, plans had been made, venues, that kind of thing. Deep into it. I realized that at night I was waking up with anxiety, I was having dreams, Betsy I had gotten to know, she was a friend, but I had taken a shine to her from afar, already. I just felt like this relationship, I cannot, I can't do this. She was living out in the Richmond district at that time, not too far from Steve. I remember, I had my key, her key, and I was going to go do this thing. Terrifying. But I had to do it. I walked in I said "Listen. I don't want you to take this the wrong way. There is something that I need to, um, I need to cancel. Is that the right word? I need to put an end to this and I'm awfully sorry." She was very hurt. Often we're on the wrong side of these things. I didn't mean any harm. It was self-preservation. I must say that when I got out the door, even though I rained some terrible hurt on somebody, I did have wings on my heels. I felt better. And I said, wait a minute! Where am I going to go right now? Footloose and fancy free. And it was just one of those things, I said "I've got ten blocks and I know exactly where I'm going," and I went banging on Steve's door, and I said listen, I've just been through this thing. He said, "A scotch?" I knew exactly where he kept it, out it came, and the peanuts, always the peanuts. Steve did try to make a chess player of me, he would do that. I was just awful. He would always say, "Well you will recall, the last time we did this, and you will recall." It was just a night that I remember. I felt like I saved my life, and I shared it with a friend, someone that I knew was my neighbor for 42 years.
When I think about it, the first person that I know of that was a lawyer I met when I was twelve, that was Marty Lurie. And I think the second person was Steve Scherr, when I was out here. I felt like I'd known him forever. Again, this trip up to Seattle was one of the greatest things that I've ever done - things I'm most thankful for. And this has taken me aback. It really has. It's remarkable what a nice human being. I'll miss him.
* A dozen or so of my dad's friends came to Portland for our wedding, in 1993. It was also Ben Winslow's birthday, probably a significant birthday, and apparently they had a very good time. All of them refer to this the way Michael did here - mysteriously, and with an awe and a reverie that goes way beyond anything that could possibly be occasioned by the wedding itself. No one ever reveals the nature of the good time. And I am sure I do not want to know!
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