Speaking up

It's hard to know how much of the current political situation to discuss with our kids. Our wonderful rabbi had a prominent photo in the Seattle Times because she was speaking against the immigration/refugee ban at a big event downtown, so I had this really natural opportunity to tell our kids what she was speaking about. I told them (reminded them, really) that there are people in the world who can't stay in their beloved home country because it is not safe there, and that America has always been a major place for people to come to who need a safe place. We remembered together that a lot of Jews were able to come here when Europe was not safe for Jews and that that made a big difference. I told them that Trump has made a scary new rule saying that people from some countries where there are a lot of Muslims can't come here, even if they desperately need a safe place; they were aghast, because they already understand that there is so much unfair discrimination against Muslims. I told them that people like our rabbi are fighting against that rule, because we know it's wrong, and they felt good about that. I read them what our rabbi said at the meeting:

On this International Holocaust Remembrance Day, I offer a response to Martin Niemoller (of blessed memory): 

First they came for the African Americans and I spoke up because I am my sisters’ and my brothers’ keeper.
And then they came for the women and I spoke up because women hold up half the sky.
And then they came for the immigrants and the refugees and I spoke up because I remember the ideals of our democracy.
And then they came for the Muslims and I spoke up because they are my cousins and we are one human family.
And then they came for the Native Americans and Mother Earth and I spoke up because the blood-soaked land cries and the mountains weep. 

They keep coming…And we keep speaking up.
We Jews remember, it is a sacred task to never forget. We know the cost of silence.
And so this morning we link arms in solidarity with our sisters and our brothers, because when you come for our neighbors, you come for us. 

As the prophet Isaiah says: Lo eshkot ad yeitzei chanoga tzeedkah. I will not be silent until justice goes forth like a radiant star. We are strengthened together—and we will always speak up.

Later I showed them all the people at the airports, and at the protests over the weekend. 

It is definitely hard to balance conveying our values to our children and giving them good information, with not scaring the crap out of them. It helps a lot that both of our kids are explicitly taught about racial and religious discrimination at school and at temple as well as at home, so I feel like there is good foundation. Here is one of my favorite signs that I saw from a protest over the weekend (on social media):

Women's March

On January 21, we marched as a family in the Women's March and had a truly great day. The Seattle organizers anticipated 50,000 people but 120,000-175,000 showed up (depending on who you ask), so we had to be flexible with the logistics: the march started in a neighborhood park that quickly became impossible to get to, we tried to park in a different neighborhood and take the bus but every bus stop had a hundred people waiting and buses passing by without stopping because they were jammed full, so we just drove to somewhere along the route and started walking. And it was perfect. We met friends by accident, which was incredible in such a huge crowd. Someone gave me a pussy hat. Seattle's march was literally led by indigenous women, dressed in their finery and singing their hearts out. We saw thousands of signs of every kind. We had people asking to photograph my gorgeous sign, thank you very much, I might make it into a T-shirt or something. We marched for two hours, because we had a two-hour parking place, then drove to the endpoint and parked in Dale's garage at work and marched there. Someone interviewed me on camera. We stopped at a grocery store for sushi. And then we went home, tired and buoyed and amazed. What a day. I hope yours was great too. 

Here's my sign, and Jordan's, and Aaron's. I'm super proud of mine - I drew it myself!

And here we are all together.

Vayishlach

I am on the board of trustees of Aaron's school, Seattle Jewish Community School, and we start every board meeting with a teaching on the weekly Torah portion, and in December it was my turn to teach. I was excited to prepare my first d'var! I enjoyed what I learned, and when I shared it with the board, a friend of mine thought I should also share it with Aaron's class. Aaron's teacher liked the idea, so I translated my five-minute speech into something interactive, and led a discussion with the fourth graders today. They were mostly quite attentive and respectful, and some were very engaged (including Aaron, no surprise there). Here's the material.

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I’m going to share with you some thoughts I was having about Parshat Vayishlach, which was a few weeks ago. Vayishlach is one of Bereshit’s many dramatic narratives. It begins with Jacob preparing to go back Canaan where Isaac is still living, to get away from Laban’s family, which is more and more unfriendly to Jacob. Jacob knows he will encounter Esau on the way to Canaan, and he gets ready for that meeting in three ways: first by dividing his camp in two (so that if Esau attacks them, maybe half of them will be safe), then by energetically reminding God of his promise to take care of Jacob, and finally by sending Esau generous gifts of sheep and goats and other livestock. That night, alone on the far bank of a river, Jacob wrestles with a mysterious being until dawn and gets his new name, Israel. In the morning he meets Esau and they hug each other and make up. Esau even offers to travel with Jacob, but Jacob says “No, no, you go on ahead, we’ll be too slow for you,” and then heads off in a totally different direction, just to be safe.

Later in the parsha Jacob receives his new name officially, straight from God; Rachel dies; and Jacob travels all the way to meet Isaac, who dies at the ripe old age of 180 surrounded by his family, and is buried by Esau and Jacob together in a meaningful demonstration of their brotherhood. The next parsha begins the story of the next generation, with Israel’s/Jacob’s favorite son Joseph.

When I was studying this parsha I got interested in the malachim that appear in several different moments in this parsha.

• What does the word malachim mean? [This question and the ones below, I asked the class, and we discussed their ideas; what's below is my answer.]

Malachim is an ambiguous word in Hebrew; it means “messenger,” but it may refer to either ordinary people type of messengers, or divine angel type of messengers.

The first malachim in this parsha are in the opening pasuk: “Vayishlach Yaakov malachim – Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau.”

• Does this sound like human messengers to you, or angels?

To me these malachim sound like regular human people type of messengers. [The kids thought so too.] These malachim are sent with material gifts and an earthly message: “To my lord Esau, thus says your servant Jacob; I stayed with Laban for a few decades and got rich, and I hope we can be okay now.” These same malachim come back to Jacob to tell him that Esau is on his way with 400 men, which is scary.

I hear you know all about Rashi [I had checked with Aaron]. Rashi has something to say about this sentence: he says, “Malachim mamash.”

• Does anyone here know what mamash means?

I am not a Hebrew speaker, but my understanding is that this means “really malachim,” “actually malachim,” “literally malachim.” [There is one native Hebrew speaker in the room; though he knows the word mamash, his English is not terrific. He said it kind of means "very," which is not far from my understanding.]

• What kind of malachim are the “real” kind?

I really do not know. Which is the “real” meaning of malach? Seems to me that it has two meanings.

Rashi’s commentary is probably meant to be read continuously, so sometimes it is helpful to read commentary on earlier passages to see what happened just before. And there is some good information: just two verses earlier, some malachim encounter Jacob on the road to Canaan. Jacob says he knows by these malachim that “this is G-d’s camp,” and he calls it Machanim, a word related to malachim. Rashi says that these malachim are the malachim who “take care of the land of Israel, come to escort Jacob into the holy land.”

• Who thinks the malachim who “take care of the land of Israel” sound like angels? Why do you think so?

Malachim who are special to the holy land, who come to help Jacob travel to the holy land, sound like they could be angels. [The kids strongly agreed with this interpretation.] Many scholars picture Jacob as traveling to Canaan with a whole bunch of angels who go on the journey with him. After all Jacob is a very holy guy. In this way of thinking, Jacob is so holy that he can even send angels on ahead of him with messages for Esau. Maybe this is God’s way of helping Jacob to impress Esau, or even scare Esau a little, and I think that would definitely work.

Also there is a scene a little earlier, in which malachim speak to Jacob in a dream to tell him to go back to Canaan. Malachim that appear in a dream can’t be human messengers, so this adds support to the idea that Jacob’s malachim are angels.

• Who thinks the malachim who “take care of the land of Israel” sound like human beings? Why do you think so?

[There was also some support among the kids for this position.] These could be regular human people who are maybe guards or scouts, who have been waiting in Canaan for Jacob to show up. Mamash, apparently, can also mean “real” in the sense of “tangible” or “concrete.” Rashi’s point may have been that unlike the previous dream angels, these are real-world messengers – human people sent on a human mission.

Overall the whole question of whether these are human or divine malachim is pretty mysterious. It’s confusing in the same way as the mysterious wrestling episode, also in this parsha, in which Jacob’s wrestling partner is first referred to as ish, which means what? (a man), and then later as elohim, which means what? (divine beings), before slipping away at sunrise.

• HERE IS THE BIG QUESTION. My belief is that nothing is wasted in the Torah; nothing is there without a reason. Apparently there is some reason that the Torah wants it to be unclear whether the malachim are human people, or angels. What do you think could be the reason for that?

[My teacher sense is that this question didn't really take. One kid said the Torah is ambiguous all over the place, which is certainly true, but isn't a reason (unless the reason is "Because that's how Torah is"). Other kids started talking about other topics; see below.]

The point I take from this is that in our world right now, there is no clear distinction between human messengers and divine ones. Chasidic Jews teach that an “angel” is anyone or anything who does G-d’s work in the world. While engaged in the divine task, a person is called a malach (or malacha); once the task is completed, the person is finished having that title. Kind of like being a driver: while you’re driving, you’re a driver, and then other days, you are not a driver. In addition to that, though, there could be a person who does holy work so often or so deeply that it becomes a part of who they are; that person could be a malach at all times.

I think the Torah is trying to teach me that I can be G-d’s messenger, so I should try to do that; and also that other human people might be divine messengers at the same time, so I should pay attention to them and treat them accordingly.

Thank you for sharing your ideas with me!

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The students had a number of their own ideas that could have started whole other discussions, and maybe I'll look into some of them. (I was only with them for about 20 minutes so we were not tackling multiple topics.)

• Amara wanted to explore the idea that malachim could be not only human beings or angels, but possibly animals, or forces of nature.
• Aviva wanted to discuss the possibility that Jacob's sparring partner in the wrestling episode is Esau.
• Aaron thought maybe Jacob's sparring partner is a vampire because he disappears at dawn.

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