Biking

The fact that our kids, at ages 7 and 10, did not know how to ride bikes yet was a source of increasing chagrin to us as parents. We've tried, but it's always been very frustrating and not very productive: the kids would cautiously squeak along on training wheels, and that's it. This weekend we decided it was time for Bicycle Boot Camp. We informed the children that it was part of our job as parents to teach them to ride bikes, and they could do it, and we were going to make it happen, kind of whether they liked it or not, even though we hoped they would like it. I made up my mind to power through, maintain my own good cheer, and not get sucked in to any kid drama or misery. I did some research and decided we would do it the way REI suggests. This is where you first remove the pedals and put the seat low enough that the kid can have both feet planted on the ground; their first stage is to just walk the bike along, which is intuitive and secure for most kids. Next they scoot with their feet to start coasting bit by bit. Next they coast farther and longer, learning to balance and steer. Then the pedals go back on and you're practically there. 

On the big day I packed my purse with candy to use as rewards and off we went. At the start, Jordan was timid and Aaron threw a complete tantrum for twenty minutes, during which time I ignored him and worked with Jordan. And it worked! Jordan went from barely walking the bike, to coasting for a beat or two, to shouting with joy while he coasted faster and longer! He worked his tail off and made giant, huge, major advances within one hour. Aaron, meanwhile, calmed down enough to try again, and he did all right too! It was a very hardworking hour - the boys dealing with themselves both physically and emotionally, and me absolutely determined to keep up a cheerful and impervious front. But it was a big day. And they were very excited. They asked to do it again the next day, and within one more hour were coasting gleefully through obstacle courses we set out with cones, and crushing crackers that we threw out ahead of them as targets. Now they want to go biking every chance they get. They do not want to put the pedals on yet, but that will come soon... we just keep cheerfully saying that biking with pedals is almost exactly the same as without, except you can go uphill. 

These movies are from the second day:

On the first day, the boys each dealt with their emotions in their signature way. Aaron went immediately to pieces and pumped himself into an ever-greater frenzy of anger and sadness and hopelessness with negative self-talk, screaming "This is impossible, I will never be able to do this!" and flailing himself around and shouting at me. I calmly stated things like, "You can choose to try again." Once I even said, in response to some I-will-never-be-able-to-do-this statement, "You can prove yourself wrong." Eventually the storm passed and he wanted to try again, and I helped him, and he was joyous at his own transformation, and said merrily on the way home, "Mommy you were right! I did prove myself wrong!" No self-consciousness or baggage that I can see. Jordan, meanwhile, pretended everything was fine even though he was clearly hating the whole thing bitterly at first. At some point he got frustrated and started to become overwhelmed, but stuffed it. Used his extraordinary emotional self-control to squeeze that anger and sadness down to a small dot inside him and put his attention back on his task. Then he started to succeed, started to feel himself flying, and loved it, and was triumphant. Which style is healthier? I really could not say.