Nerds

I need to step up my game on describing Jordan in a way that I can do in front of him. I tend to describe him as a nerd, and to many people (especially kids) that term is pejorative. I mean it affectionately. So what do I mean? I mean that he is intellectual; that he has strong interests in non-mainstream activities (especially music and fantasy); and that he acts his age rather than being falsely mature. I do not mean that he is socially awkward or shy; quite the contrary; he is gregarious and socially savvy. I also don’t mean that he is gawky or physically awkward, although I do mean that he is not majorly into sports. (Why do I perceive sports as incompatible with nerdiness? Do we think that making good use of your body is incompatible with making good use of your brain? Terrible. But there you have it.)

One evening at a social dinner Dale asked Jordan how he would describe his group of friends. “None of us is trying to be someone else,” he said. “We all have something wrong with us and none of us minds at all.” I love it. They are authentic with each other. Dale winced at his sense that they all “have something wrong with them,” but I liked it; I think it means that they do not hide their flaws from each other, and they accept each other in full knowledge of their eccentricities. Because the fact is that we all have eccentricities… it’s more about whether we are ashamed of them or feel able to let our freak flag fly. Apparently he and his friends feel safe with each other. To me, this is another positive quality of nerds. But instead I am going to teach myself to say things like: Intellectual, musical, imaginative, social, authentic, acts his age. It’s a start.