English muffin

I just remembered this other bit of cultural conversation from yesterday, when we were having a snack.

J: Why are English muffins called English muffins?
R: I think because they have muffins like this in England.
J: But this is not really a muffin.
R: I agree.  A muffin is more like a cupcake without frosting.  But in England I guess this is a muffin.  [musing briefly]  Except I am pretty sure that this, in England, is not called a muffin at all.
J: What is it called?
R: I think it is called a crumpet.
J: Crumpet!  Like a trumpet!
A: Too too too!
R: Rhymes with trumpet.  And they put the butter on the top, instead of cutting it in half like we do.  But I think they still toast it.
J: That is funny.  Crumpet.  Why don't they call it an English muffin?
R: Well they're already in England so they don't have to call it English if it's already English.
D: We don't call this "American asparagus."  We already know it's American.
R: And what we call French fries are called something else if you're in France.  Not French fries, because they know that already.
J: What are they called?
R: Frites.  Which means fries.
J: Just fries?
D: Pommes frites, right?  Fried potatoes.
J: That makes sense.
R: And you know what, in England they call French fries even something else than that, not French fries or frites.
J: What?
R: Chips!
J: Chips?!
A: Potato chips?
R: Right, but they are not what we call chips!  We call it chips when it's potato chips, the thin crispy kind, but they call it chips when it's french fries.
J: [laughing his head off]  That is so funny!
R: You know how sometimes you order fish and chips at a restaurant and you get fish and fries?  That's because it's an English food and they call fries, chips.
J [looking very surprised]: That's why!  I didn't know that!  I was thinking I would get chips!
R: You did get chips!  But English chips!
J [dissolving in laughter]