At our temple kids become bar or bat mitzvah in pairs, because our religious school is so large that there wouldn’t be enough weekends in the year otherwise. We partnered with our best buddies the Graybills, with whom we have been friends since we moved to Seattle (when the boys were four). One of the many beautiful parts of the service is when the two boys read haftarah side by side.
All this said, things did not go entirely according to plan. Just at the beginning of Jordan’s part of the service, he misread a prayer in English, and tried to correct himself but misread it again, and became unsteady on his feet, and wobbled away from the bimah. Jordan told us later that his hearing faded away, and he heard a ringing in his ears, and saw white spots in his vision that increased until they took over his visual field. In other words, he was starting to faint. From the congregation’s perspective, he looked as white as a sheet. The rabbi helped him sit down and then a series of things happened – our pediatrician friend went up there to help, Dale and I went up too, and Jordan was discreetly throwing up into a trash can that some fast-moving person had placed next to him, all hidden behind the wings of the rabbi’s outstretched tallit. We helped him into the cantor’s office (which is kind of “backstage” of the bimah). I was totally unclear about what was going on. Obviously Jordan was unwell, but I did not have any clear sense of what the problem was, what anyone should do, or what was going to happen next. Fortunately, our pediatrician friend knew to help Jordan lie down on the floor with his feet up on a chair until some color had returned to his face, and knew that with some recovery time, Jordan might be able to continue the service. The rabbi and the cantor, who I’m pretty sure had not encountered this situation before, rearranged the order of some things and led an extra song or two to give Jordan time to get back on his feet.
And he did. After a few minutes, he sat up, then stood up, and went back out to the bimah. He received the Torah that was physically passed down from the grandparent generation, to us parents, to him. He carried the Torah (which probably weighs 35 lbs) all around the sanctuary, with Aaron and me and Dale right behind him. I was ready to catch him (or the Torah!?) if help was needed – but he didn’t need help. He went through the rest of the service and did every single thing and he was awesome. In his Torah reading he sounded a little like our temple president, who reads with entrancing melodiousness. We were all so amazed and impressed and relieved and I don’t even know what. I am still astonished.
Jessica said something like, “If you can faint on the bimah and come back and nail your haftarah, you are for sure a man,” and I have to agree. I wouldn’t wish his experience on anyone but he really did show his stuff. His buddy Ian was also awesome: he delivered all of his parts of the service with aplomb even amidst all the distraction, and was gracious and flexible and hilarious at a perfect moment. I have to think it was nice for Jordan to have such a good friend up there with him.
Jordan’s fever came back later that day or maybe the next day, and lasted three more days. His doctor said the fainting was an unfortunate combination of various things… maybe fever coming on again, maybe dehydration, maybe nerves, definitely a lot of standing (two hours of family photos before the service). I feel terrible about it – I can’t help thinking that there might have been more I could have done to keep him healthy that day. But Jordan seems to feel fine about it, and I am trying to follow his example. “It wasn’t my fault I was sick,” he said, “And I got back up and did everything, which I think was pretty great.” Amen to that!
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