Bar mitzvah: Family

The bar mitzvah weekend was a banner weekend for our family. I had been anxious about the family part, because part of the bar mitzvah ceremony is physically handing down the Torah from the grandparents, to the parents, to the kid, and there is a painful absence of grandparents on my side. But the reality was wonderful. My godfather Alan and my aunts Jes and Deena served as substitute grandparents, and Dale’s mom was there too; I felt great about it. 

Beyond that, the whole weekend was an awesome family event. My maternal Uncle Fred and Aunt Linda came (from Maine) with my brother Michael (from Massachusetts), which was a rare treat; this is the first time any of them have visited me in Seattle, though my aunt and uncle came to Portland for Dale’s and my wedding in 1993, and met us in Port Townsend (with my dad) two years ago. We spent a wonderful day on Vashon Island, including a fine ferry ride, beautiful views, and picking up a flat of the most stunning strawberries from a friend’s farm. Our dear Vashon-savvy friend Bob Moss made the day great by arranging a beautiful itinerary for us (including the berries!) and lending us his minivan so we could all go in one car.

Back in Seattle, we had multiple lovely casual events at our house, with family and old friends in the kitchen and at the grill. Very haimish.

That last one is Selena, my dear friend from when she and I were the age that Jordan is now, baking a strawberry cake with Kari and my aunt Linda. I’m so happy Selena was able to come! Here is a precious picture of her and Bekah and me, with our thirteen-year-old children. It doesn't mean much of anything to the kids that their moms were best friends who had babies at the same time, lo these many years ago… but it means a lot to us!

The big winner for this weekend, though, was my brother, who said it was the “trip of a lifetime.” I think he had come expecting to enjoy visiting me and Dale and the kids, and to enjoy Seattle. He did have a great time being a tourist – he loves good food and good coffee and being out on the water, and Seattle is great for all those things. But he had not anticipated the connection he felt to our greater family and friends and community, and he was stunned, overwhelmed really, by the warmth of the welcome he got from our people. My aunts and Dale’s family and our many many dear longtime friends were pretty excited to meet him after all these years. All this love did not surprise me at all; my brother is an incredibly warm and charming guy and quite an interesting person, so of course everyone loved him. I’m just glad he finally came! He promises to be back soon.