Then on Sunday the first COVID-19 death in the US was reported… in Seattle (actually Kirkland). That distressed me. But no one at the conference was talking about it. On the flight home, I tried not to touch things unnecessarily and washed my hands more often, and that was it.
The first week of March, things moved very fast. More cases were identified in the Seattle area. Schools started to teach about the virus. Workplaces and community organizations started telling you to wash your hands a lot and stay home if you were sick. Aaron taught me proper handwashing technique; I can hardly believe how perfunctory my old way of washing my hands was in comparison. At UW, it was the 9th week of class and we met as usual. However, people did start to get serious about the danger to vulnerable groups. On Monday of that week (March 2), Fred and Linda and Michael let me know with heavy hearts that they were cancelling their plans to attend Aaron’s bar mitzvah, which was going to be on March 14. At that point they still needed reasons… Fred is especially elderly, and Michael lives with Dave, who is immunosuppressed. We were completely heartbroken, especially about Michael, and I admit that I thought they were being little bit hysterical. Jes and Deena and Alan were all perfectly determined to come.
On Thursday, March 5, Aaron and Adam had their first official rehearsal at the temple. We discussed with Rabbi Ruth what would happen if we had to cancel, but we were not planning to do that. The boys were both wonderfully well-prepared and it was delightful to see them on the bimah. I sent videos to Jes and Deena. Aaron stumbled in his second aliyah and was overcome with stress, not only from the pressure of the event, but from the fact that some loved ones were not coming and others might be endangered by attending. It took a long time for him to calm down… but he did (with a lot of rabbi support), and he finished his rehearsal, and we went to lunch at a sushi place.
That night, Jess and Jules and Dale and I had a long phone call to discuss what to do. At that point, it seemed possible to have the ceremony and lunch (the caterer was going to plate the food instead of serving family-style); but the party was starting to feel irresponsible, as was asking relatives to fly. We talked about having a private ceremony now and the party later, but that felt wrong; for us, the whole point is to be welcomed by your community. (Later Aaron said, “I would never do that.”) We decided we had to cancel (meaning postpone for a long time). I got off the phone and burst into tears. Aaron was devastated, although he also agreed it was the right thing to do. I spent the next day making phone calls, telling Jes and Deena and Alan not to come, which felt absolutely awful. Fortunately, within 24 hours we had found a new date 4.5 months in the future – a date that works for both families, the Temple, and the party venue. Having that on the calendar made me feel much better, even though we actually have no idea what the future holds.
The first week of March, things moved very fast. More cases were identified in the Seattle area. Schools started to teach about the virus. Workplaces and community organizations started telling you to wash your hands a lot and stay home if you were sick. Aaron taught me proper handwashing technique; I can hardly believe how perfunctory my old way of washing my hands was in comparison. At UW, it was the 9th week of class and we met as usual. However, people did start to get serious about the danger to vulnerable groups. On Monday of that week (March 2), Fred and Linda and Michael let me know with heavy hearts that they were cancelling their plans to attend Aaron’s bar mitzvah, which was going to be on March 14. At that point they still needed reasons… Fred is especially elderly, and Michael lives with Dave, who is immunosuppressed. We were completely heartbroken, especially about Michael, and I admit that I thought they were being little bit hysterical. Jes and Deena and Alan were all perfectly determined to come.On Thursday, March 5, Aaron and Adam had their first official rehearsal at the temple. We discussed with Rabbi Ruth what would happen if we had to cancel, but we were not planning to do that. The boys were both wonderfully well-prepared and it was delightful to see them on the bimah. I sent videos to Jes and Deena. Aaron stumbled in his second aliyah and was overcome with stress, not only from the pressure of the event, but from the fact that some loved ones were not coming and others might be endangered by attending. It took a long time for him to calm down… but he did (with a lot of rabbi support), and he finished his rehearsal, and we went to lunch at a sushi place.
That night, Jess and Jules and Dale and I had a long phone call to discuss what to do. At that point, it seemed possible to have the ceremony and lunch (the caterer was going to plate the food instead of serving family-style); but the party was starting to feel irresponsible, as was asking relatives to fly. We talked about having a private ceremony now and the party later, but that felt wrong; for us, the whole point is to be welcomed by your community. (Later Aaron said, “I would never do that.”) We decided we had to cancel (meaning postpone for a long time). I got off the phone and burst into tears. Aaron was devastated, although he also agreed it was the right thing to do. I spent the next day making phone calls, telling Jes and Deena and Alan not to come, which felt absolutely awful. Fortunately, within 24 hours we had found a new date 4.5 months in the future – a date that works for both families, the Temple, and the party venue. Having that on the calendar made me feel much better, even though we actually have no idea what the future holds.
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